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confessions of a helicopter mom on the playground and beyond

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i have a sad and possibly awesome confession to make…i am a full-blown helicopter mom.  while pregnant and up until c was about one-years-old, i could have SWORN i was tiger mom material.  but you know…i am not that strict with her.  with everyone in this word?  hell yes.  but with my perfect angel child?  not so much.  yes it’s a problem and no i am not sure how to fix it (yet).

don’t judge me, but here are some interesting (maybe fun) stories of this past 15 months…

  1. there’s a chuck-e-cheese’s for younger kids in ktown called lemontree.  it’s where tons of kids can play in clean, safe, enclosed environment.  when c was 12 months-18 months i seriously went there NON-STOP b/c it was an easy place for her to run around.  well there have been MANY awkward incidents there with other kids/parents but the two most notable are.
    • when c was about 11-12 months she was wobbling around and ended up knocking over this tower of blocks that a few kids were building (they were related or affiliated with bow wow who was there that day).  she literally had NO IDEA what she had done and the kids were upset but one actually PUSHED her in the stomach.  c was so little that she looked down and her stomach where he pushed her and touched her belly.  i wanted to RIP this little kid’s face off when i saw that.  RIP HIS FACE OFF PEOPLE.  but i went over and said something like “i’m sorry you guys, she’s little and didn’t know.”  THEN the same little kid saw c in another part of the play area (where i couldn’t reach) and pushed her ON PURPOSE.  he pushed her hard just to push her (when she was doing NOTHING).  i literally FLEW across the room to bang on the glass that was between us but by the time i was banging he was already gone.  dude… i cannot tell you how much my blood boiled.  BOILED.  i will forever hate bow wow after that day and his posse.  a little dramatic, yes.  but very true.  i thought about walking over to the party and explaining the incident to the parents.  i thought about pushing the kid myself.  i thought about a MILLION different things but in the end they left and c played freely without the bully.  this hurts my heart every time i think about it.  i know i can’t be there around her forever, but some kids are such assholes.
    • around that same time frame, c and her friend (who was younger and smaller) were jumping on the trampoline and it was the most adorable moment in history.  yes, in history.  then about 4 big kids (maybe age 5-7) came in and started jumping.  my little baby and her friend fell immediately and couldn’t get back up b/c every time they tried they were either knocked over or pulled down but the other kids jumping.  without even REALIZING what i was doing, i screamed “be careful, there are little kids playing here!!!!!!”  before i even knew what i was doing i had already shouted it out in a polite (but tense) sing song voice.  i mean, everything sounds nicer in a sing song voice right??  did i mention that one of the big kids were my friend’s cousins?  eek.  they left immediately and said, “it’s no fun here”.
  2. at the zoo c was playing kind of roughly by herself on this little step where the glass wall to the gorilla exhibit is.  we were there early, mike was out of town, and i was exhausted.  c is playing when another family comes up next to us and a little girls stands on the step looking at the gorillas.  short version is that c kept running into her.  i was very tired and the first few times i apologized and said sorry.  after that…i kinda looked the other way at my phone and pretended not to notice.  the mom of the little girl eventually said to the little girl (but really to us), “just say, ‘excuse me, i’m standing here.'”.  eek.  i was tired and frankly~ that little girl should have just moved over.  she had a huge area next to her but CHOSE to stand next to c.  so it’s her fault not ours right???? =P
  3. at the santa monica play yard (in the food court), i took c there when she was about 15 months.  the parents normally sit on the benches surrounding the play area but not this helicopter mom.  i walked through the mazes and jungle gym with her and there were so many instances where kids were trying to push her b/c she was too slow or too cute or WHATEVER.  lol  anyway, i would stare down at them until they backed off or felt uncomfortable and left.  NOT a proud moment for me, but it was my only way of protecting c without yelling or hitting another person’s child.  i even went behind her through certain mazes so that she could take her sweet time and the kids behind me couldn’t do anything b/c i was blocking the path.  eeek.  she was younger than all the other kids and needed my protection!!  don’t judge me.
  4. we went to another chuck-e-cheese like place (that i won’t name) and well…i have so many stories from that it made mike glad he wasn’t there.  i am teaching c about taking turns and sharing.  so when there were lines for things and other kids would push past her, she would look at me and whine “my turn!”  i felt SOO guilty that i blocked everything off behind her and made it very clear to the helpers there and the kids that it was HER turn.  i have no regrets on this one b/c those other little snots were old enough to know better.  AND the helpers knew she was next, they just took whoever pushed past hard enough.  MADE ME MAD.  at the same event c was in the ball pit with other kids and she was trying to get out.  i was trying to help her get out but she was coming out a way where there was a net and only little kids could crawl through.  as my 22 month old baby was trying to crawl out, these 6-8 year old boys thought it would be funny to throw balls at her.  like WHAT THE EFF??? during this time i was trying to figure out how to crawl under the net myself, how to grab her and get her out, AND all while trying to yell at the boys.  b/c i knew these boys were the kids of the event organizers, i didn’t want to be MEAN but i was pointing and screaming “THAT IS NOT NICE!!!”.  finally a helper came over and stopped the whole thing so i could get my innocent and perfect baby out.  i have never wanted to kill anyone more than those three boys.  what douche assholes right?  they were laughing and doing it just to do it.  effing punks.  i hope they get bullied at school.  too far?  well this helicopter/tiger mom doesn’t think so.
  5. i have filled my brain with tons and tons of small things that i want to do for c.  trips to various zoos and playgrounds, craft places, sports and dance lessons, schools, etc.  i am seriously OBSESSED.  but early one after i had c, my bff told our other friends that i was too much and needed to talk about other things.  SOOO i stopped talking about it altogether unless someone else brought it up first (which no one really does…).  but anyway, when people talk about something i’m super into, i seriously am so excited and intense on listening that it hurts my brain after.
  6. i’ve worked an a university for like 12 years now and up until i had c, i couldn’t have really cared about admissions into the university.  but now, i’m OBSESSED.  i try to memorize people’s stories of how they got in, what they did in high school, their parents’ involvement, etc etc etc.  i’m seriously sooo obsessed.  i want to make sure that i do everything to give c all the best chances and all the best moments that lead to the college of her dreams.  luckily i have about 14-15 more years before it all really counts.  LOL  but at least i’ll be ready right?? =P  for now i’m obsessing over preschools, elementary schools and being a part of the PTA as an alfa mom.  puhaha

i have countless other moments but this post is getting so long i should stop.  i already sound cray cray.  anyway…are there any other mamas like me out there?

 

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