Here we are in beautiful Seoul!  I got ROCKED by the flight over here and miss C is not adjusting to the time difference very well.  But nothing a little dessert, some tv and a fun play area can’t fix.  More details and photos to come later~ ^^

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Mommy Mondays: Korea Trip + Traveling Internationally with Toddlers

you guuuyyyyssss~~ mike and i are going to korea!!!  i am BEYOND excited.  i haven’t been to korea since i was 18, so that is a VERY long time ago.  traveling with little ones is SO FREAKING STRESSFUL.  i seriously need to mentally and physically prepare myself for weeks for trips with c.  since the flight to Korea is long and we’ll be in a foreign country~~ i’m even more paranoid.

i’m not sure about your other mamas but when i get stressed i obsessively research and then mentally play out how the trip and flight will go like 1,000 times before the trip.  that way i can be prepared for any hiccups or have plan b, c and d laid out in my mind before the trip even begins.  obsessively thinking about the trip also helps me to remember things that i must not forget…ipad, snacks, passports, chargers, etc.

Here are some tips and articles that have REALLY helped me the past few trips with c!

  1. BUSY BAGS.  i cannot stress this one enough.  i read that you need to break up the flight in 15-minute increments b/c that is the length of a baby’s attention span.  um… wow.  14 hours divided by 15 minutes is INSANE.  i personally prepare 6-8 busy bags so i can easily switch them out and by the time c is done with the last one and i go back to the first~ it’s like a whole new busy bag again.  in each busy bag i create a “theme” and include snacks.  that way i have everything at the touch of my fingertips without having to dig through other bags/pockets in my suitcase.  I also add wipes and 2 diapers to every other bag so that i don’t have to go searching for those things either.  the moment i get onto the flight, i take out the first 3 busy bags and put them in the pockets in front of us so that it’s all within reach.  the rest of the busy bags i put under the seat in front of us for later.  i go to Diaso for the bags itself ($1.50 each) and then i pick up new snacks and small toys that c has never seen so that the busy bags are fresh.  I also bring an assortment of toys that i know c loves.  one other fun tip: easter eggs!  c loves to crack them open and find a surprise inside.  she also loves to play with the egg itself and that keeps her busy for, i dunno… half an hour?  lol
  2. Taking the first or last flight out.  HUGE.  The first flight ensures that your baby is in the best mood, they get their wiggles out at the airport (with tons of energy and awe from being in a new place), and they are going to have a nap on the plane (most likely), and the first flight usually never gets delayed or canceled.  Oh and the airports are usually really quiet that early in the morning (same w traffic).  Taking the LAST flight usually means that the airport is also dead, traffic wasn’t bad, AND your baby is sure to sleep the entire flight.  This last flight out is hard on the parents but not on the baby.  I would rather fly while my baby is sleeping, so this is definitely one of my go-tos.
  3. When reserving seats, try to always reserve the aisle AND the window.  So for instance, if you are flying alone with a kid or you and your husband have a lap baby~ reserving those seats is strategic and clutch.  Why?  Well no one wants a middle seat right?  So you’re hoping that no one sits in the middle and you end up getting the entire row for your family (WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT).  This strategy doesn’t always work out but it’s worth the gamble isn’t it?  Worst case, you give the stranger the aisle or window OR you don’t and the stranger gets the aisle seat (depending on how old your babe is).
  4. Get bags for your stroller and car seat.  They are like $15 bucks per bag and seriously help keep your things clean.  The luggage folks throw your things around and if you don’t want your belongings scuffed or damaged~ get a bag.  It’s totally worth it.  I also keep a few things in the stroller basket/cup colder that just always stays with it~ so having it all wrapped in a bag has been AWESOME.  I bought two bright red bags and wrote our last name in huge letters.  It’s really easy to spot.  I also wrote “stroller” or “car seat” on the bags once they were all folded so it was easy to grab a bag while packing things up before boarding the plane.
  5. Cross body bag for the mom!  I just figured this out and I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner.  I put my super important essentials (wallet, phone, chapstick, ginger gummies (i get motion sick), and the essentials you want to grab or take with you when you go to the bathroom.  When you have a baby sleeping on you or a roaming toddler, the last thing you want to worry about is lugging ALL of your stuff.  So having a cross body on (even while seated on the plane) has been a total life saver.  I can get what I need with little movement if C is sleeping on me, or when we go to the bathroom I have everything on me, no fumbling required, or finally I can run around the airport or move away from the stroller without freaking out that my important essentials are there.  Toddlers can be lightening fast, so having everything I need in my cross body is CLUTCH.
  6. Change your little one’s diaper right before you board and also practice changing your baby’s diaper with them standing.  This can really save your life when you’re traveling.  One example is when I’m in the airplane bathroom, I sit on the toilet (with the cover down) and have c stand on my lap facing the door.  With pee only, I quickly wipe c (i bring one wipe and diaper w me to the bathroom) and then put on her diaper.  It’s so freaking fast and easy.  If I need another hand to help hold the back of the diaper while I’m putting on the front tabs, I will rest her back to me and pin the diaper between us.  I use this method ALL THE TIME when we’re in a dirty place or in a situation where I have to change her diaper FAST.  For poops it’s a lot tricker and still possible, your baby needs to bend over and touch her toes or the doors of the bathroom.  C is very tall and doesn’t fit on the changing table in the bathroom~ so that’s why this method on the plane is my go-to.
  7. Survival Mode Parenting.  So many friends told me that I need to do WHATEVER to get through the flight and stay alive.  The flight is technically not just for our family but other people’s sanities are also at stake right?  So if giving C sugary snacks and the iPad for the whole flight means she won’t have a meltdown~ then so be it.  If creating a crumb mess and putting stickers all over the tray table keeps her happy~ sorry airline~ I do this for you.  Whatever your baby needs on that plane, JUST DO IT.  This is not the time to be the strict parent.  You may not want your little one to watch so much screen time but you have to think of the other patrons on the plane right?  And when it doubt~ bring some benedryl.  Kidding not kidding?

I hope these tips helped!  There are so many more online but these babies seriously helped me on countless flights.  We have a 14 hour and a 12 hour flight ahead of us right now so I’m VERY prepared and mentally prepped for the journey ahead.  It’ll be just me and C on the flight (Mike is in a diff section).  WISH US LUCKKKK!!! gahhh.

here are two blog posts below that may also help you 🙂

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Mommy Time

Hello friends.  I am doing something very rare…I am on a business trip sans baby and hubby.  Normally mike is the one that travels so it feels really weird to be away from them.  

Some fun things tho…

1. I’m actually sleeping!!!   Feels freaking awesome. 

2. The conference is in Berkeley so I came up a few days early to visit with my San Francisco friends.  Oh my. It has been wayyy too long since I’ve been able to just chill and chat.  

3. I’ve been eating and drinking like a queen. Who knew how much I could eat when I didn’t have a toddler crawling all over me and demanding to run, sit, stand, play, eat, repeat.  Lol

Here are some pics from my weekend 🙂

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So much has been happening in our little home these past few weeks.  I feel like there is never a moment to post or catch up!  Here are some fun pics that I will update you all on latahhs!!

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Best Purses For Moms On The Go

when you’re a new mom you need a large diaper bag to hold all of the little things that your newborn needs.  as a toddler mom, you need something that is either attached to your body (like a backpack/cross body) or can be super durable to spills or the insistence of a little one dragging your bag around the house b/c it’s “her purse” now.  (eye roll)

here are some of my faves this spring/summer!


Vince Camuto Pria Tote8921984_fpx

Zac Posen Eartha Iconic Convertible236724193

ted baker chania


Chloe Medium Crossbody_100945125

Gucci Soho Leather Backpack_100812132

Gucci Quilted Leather Backpack_100385512

Herschel Backpack

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Charlotte’s Daycare Birthday

oh em geeee, if i haven’t said it enough…i freaking LOVE c’s daycare.  they celebrate every child’s bday and they even give these babies presents!!  here are just a few pics from her school birthday party.  it seriously fills my heart to know she is so loved there and she is getting the chance to celebrate her big day with friends.  one can never have enough birthday celebrations right?? =P

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Charlotte’s Second Birthday: Ice Cream Theme Party

oh my, my baby turned 2 this past sunday.  our family is still pretty sick and run down from the week before so this post is late and so are all my other normal posts.  i feel like even when i’m sleeping early every night, i just need 48 hours of REST.  sigh.  i guess i can rest when i’m dead huh?

ANYWAYYYYY~~~ we did two really fun things for c’s birthday but i’ll split it up into two posts.  Part One: Ice Cream Party!!!

mike and i were seriously supposed to do a VERY VERY casual party in the park.  just ice cream and some balloons.  unfortunately…that is just not how i roll.  i never mean for it to get this way, but i seriously always want the most perfect party ever and spend like 10x our budget and stress over it 10x more than i should.  in the end, the party was absolutely perfect and c got to try her FIRST BITE OF ICE CREAM!!!  it was a very special day for our family since i had been a sugar nazi for the first two years.  i made sure she did not have a lick of salt or sugar before 1.  and then from 1-1.5 years i was SUUUPER careful about the two.  now that she’s older…i’ll probably still be really cautious, but let her have some juice at parties and eat ice cream during the summer months. =)



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Mommy Mondays: Ergo Baby 360 vs Ergo Baby


if you are planning for a baby soon or have a little one already~~~ you NEEEEED an ergo baby.  whether it’s a 360 or not, the ergo is SO EASY to use and REALLY comfortable for both you and the baby.  i personally have both the 360 and the original and use both equally.  here are the pros and cons of both, so you can decide which one is best for your family.

The Original

this soft ergo is easy to store, use and wash.  there is also a sweeeet pocket in the front that allows for storage of keys/phone/credit cards.  when you’re walking around with a baby, you don’t want to also have a bulky bag/purse~ so being able to put everything in here at once is clutch.  the thing i love about the ergo is also that the material is soft enough where i can put this on easily by myself.

The 360

this version is sturdier and allows for your baby to be in 4 different ergo positions.  it’s AWESOME for your baby and more structured for a comfortable sitting position.  i personally think it’s hard to put on by yourself (compared to the original model), but it feels great on.  the one major downside of this for me is that there is no storage compartment in this upgraded version.  you have a lot more structural support for the baby but you (the mama) have to keep all your keys/money/phone in your pockets or a crossbody bag.  not convenient when you want to have as little as possible on you.


all in all both are AWESOME and i highly recommend them to you.  if you could only buy one, then i would buy the newer 360 version since it allows your baby to be front facing.

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Amazon Channels + Sesame Street

before c’s second birthday party, we went to an #amazonchannels event with sesame street and hbo.  the party was at au fudge in beverly hills and SUCH a nice way to spend the day with our family.  i wrote a review of the event at momsla.com, so please go and read it!  here are some fun pictures from the event. 🙂


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confessions of a helicopter mom on the playground and beyond


i have a sad and possibly awesome confession to make…i am a full-blown helicopter mom.  while pregnant and up until c was about one-years-old, i could have SWORN i was tiger mom material.  but you know…i am not that strict with her.  with everyone in this word?  hell yes.  but with my perfect angel child?  not so much.  yes it’s a problem and no i am not sure how to fix it (yet).

don’t judge me, but here are some interesting (maybe fun) stories of this past 15 months…

  1. there’s a chuck-e-cheese’s for younger kids in ktown called lemontree.  it’s where tons of kids can play in clean, safe, enclosed environment.  when c was 12 months-18 months i seriously went there NON-STOP b/c it was an easy place for her to run around.  well there have been MANY awkward incidents there with other kids/parents but the two most notable are.
    • when c was about 11-12 months she was wobbling around and ended up knocking over this tower of blocks that a few kids were building (they were related or affiliated with bow wow who was there that day).  she literally had NO IDEA what she had done and the kids were upset but one actually PUSHED her in the stomach.  c was so little that she looked down and her stomach where he pushed her and touched her belly.  i wanted to RIP this little kid’s face off when i saw that.  RIP HIS FACE OFF PEOPLE.  but i went over and said something like “i’m sorry you guys, she’s little and didn’t know.”  THEN the same little kid saw c in another part of the play area (where i couldn’t reach) and pushed her ON PURPOSE.  he pushed her hard just to push her (when she was doing NOTHING).  i literally FLEW across the room to bang on the glass that was between us but by the time i was banging he was already gone.  dude… i cannot tell you how much my blood boiled.  BOILED.  i will forever hate bow wow after that day and his posse.  a little dramatic, yes.  but very true.  i thought about walking over to the party and explaining the incident to the parents.  i thought about pushing the kid myself.  i thought about a MILLION different things but in the end they left and c played freely without the bully.  this hurts my heart every time i think about it.  i know i can’t be there around her forever, but some kids are such assholes.
    • around that same time frame, c and her friend (who was younger and smaller) were jumping on the trampoline and it was the most adorable moment in history.  yes, in history.  then about 4 big kids (maybe age 5-7) came in and started jumping.  my little baby and her friend fell immediately and couldn’t get back up b/c every time they tried they were either knocked over or pulled down but the other kids jumping.  without even REALIZING what i was doing, i screamed “be careful, there are little kids playing here!!!!!!”  before i even knew what i was doing i had already shouted it out in a polite (but tense) sing song voice.  i mean, everything sounds nicer in a sing song voice right??  did i mention that one of the big kids were my friend’s cousins?  eek.  they left immediately and said, “it’s no fun here”.
  2. at the zoo c was playing kind of roughly by herself on this little step where the glass wall to the gorilla exhibit is.  we were there early, mike was out of town, and i was exhausted.  c is playing when another family comes up next to us and a little girls stands on the step looking at the gorillas.  short version is that c kept running into her.  i was very tired and the first few times i apologized and said sorry.  after that…i kinda looked the other way at my phone and pretended not to notice.  the mom of the little girl eventually said to the little girl (but really to us), “just say, ‘excuse me, i’m standing here.'”.  eek.  i was tired and frankly~ that little girl should have just moved over.  she had a huge area next to her but CHOSE to stand next to c.  so it’s her fault not ours right???? =P
  3. at the santa monica play yard (in the food court), i took c there when she was about 15 months.  the parents normally sit on the benches surrounding the play area but not this helicopter mom.  i walked through the mazes and jungle gym with her and there were so many instances where kids were trying to push her b/c she was too slow or too cute or WHATEVER.  lol  anyway, i would stare down at them until they backed off or felt uncomfortable and left.  NOT a proud moment for me, but it was my only way of protecting c without yelling or hitting another person’s child.  i even went behind her through certain mazes so that she could take her sweet time and the kids behind me couldn’t do anything b/c i was blocking the path.  eeek.  she was younger than all the other kids and needed my protection!!  don’t judge me.
  4. we went to another chuck-e-cheese like place (that i won’t name) and well…i have so many stories from that it made mike glad he wasn’t there.  i am teaching c about taking turns and sharing.  so when there were lines for things and other kids would push past her, she would look at me and whine “my turn!”  i felt SOO guilty that i blocked everything off behind her and made it very clear to the helpers there and the kids that it was HER turn.  i have no regrets on this one b/c those other little snots were old enough to know better.  AND the helpers knew she was next, they just took whoever pushed past hard enough.  MADE ME MAD.  at the same event c was in the ball pit with other kids and she was trying to get out.  i was trying to help her get out but she was coming out a way where there was a net and only little kids could crawl through.  as my 22 month old baby was trying to crawl out, these 6-8 year old boys thought it would be funny to throw balls at her.  like WHAT THE EFF??? during this time i was trying to figure out how to crawl under the net myself, how to grab her and get her out, AND all while trying to yell at the boys.  b/c i knew these boys were the kids of the event organizers, i didn’t want to be MEAN but i was pointing and screaming “THAT IS NOT NICE!!!”.  finally a helper came over and stopped the whole thing so i could get my innocent and perfect baby out.  i have never wanted to kill anyone more than those three boys.  what douche assholes right?  they were laughing and doing it just to do it.  effing punks.  i hope they get bullied at school.  too far?  well this helicopter/tiger mom doesn’t think so.
  5. i have filled my brain with tons and tons of small things that i want to do for c.  trips to various zoos and playgrounds, craft places, sports and dance lessons, schools, etc.  i am seriously OBSESSED.  but early one after i had c, my bff told our other friends that i was too much and needed to talk about other things.  SOOO i stopped talking about it altogether unless someone else brought it up first (which no one really does…).  but anyway, when people talk about something i’m super into, i seriously am so excited and intense on listening that it hurts my brain after.
  6. i’ve worked an a university for like 12 years now and up until i had c, i couldn’t have really cared about admissions into the university.  but now, i’m OBSESSED.  i try to memorize people’s stories of how they got in, what they did in high school, their parents’ involvement, etc etc etc.  i’m seriously sooo obsessed.  i want to make sure that i do everything to give c all the best chances and all the best moments that lead to the college of her dreams.  luckily i have about 14-15 more years before it all really counts.  LOL  but at least i’ll be ready right?? =P  for now i’m obsessing over preschools, elementary schools and being a part of the PTA as an alfa mom.  puhaha

i have countless other moments but this post is getting so long i should stop.  i already sound cray cray.  anyway…are there any other mamas like me out there?


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My Mother’s Day Wishlist: Mini-Mommy Makeover

Mother’s Day is coming up and I’ve been thinking about what would REALLY make me feel pampered and fresh.  Here are some of the things that I’ve been eyeing~~~

  1. a freaking HAIR CUT.  sad but true.  i think i get my hair cut 1 or 2x a year because there is just NO TIME EVER.  here is the cut and color i’ve been wanting.d09b6035b85e0d522e5d274c4284c41d
  2. microblading and eye liner tattoo.  this is something i’ve wanted for a while and i think it would be HUGE as a busy working mom.  it will help me look fresh and alive even when i don’t have the time to put makeup on.  many of my friends also do eyelash extensions but i’m not sure i can keep up with that one. b7c28dd216e70ee165219ee104a731dc
  3. getting my moles removed.  i heard that just doing this one thing will instantly make your face and skin look flawless.  in combination with a fresh cut and some permanent makeup, this might be all i need to make my tired face look more glowing.

those above would be my dream, “fresh mommy” look.  i’m in desperate need of some up keep here.  a ponytail can even look cray cray after a while.

now some pretty pretty PRESENTS that i have my eye on…

  1. chanel wallet on a chainshopping
  2. chanel espadrilleschanel espadrilles


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Stomach Flu

We have had quite a week in the Blair home.  C caught the stomach flu which resulted in her throwing up twice at a birthday party (and for the first time ever) and exploding liquid from every end of her for five days straight.  Gross does not even begin to describe it.

The best part is that mike and I caught C’s bug and both threw up the same time that C was having a meltdown about going to bed.  Awesome.

M and I have never felt so sick but we are both at work because…we are grown and have responsibilities.  Sigh. Did I mention this is C’s second birthday weekend and I’m not sure how it will all go down?  Beyond just the normal sick/birthday problems~ we planned a casual ice cream party in the park AND it is forecasted to rain that day.  Whhhhhyyyyyyyyyy.  >.<

Things are not going well…

BUT through all this sickness, one fun thing I was able to do for c when she was sick was create this huge pool bed.  It had her fav blankets and stuffed animals and she was able to watch tv in total comfort.  We normally try to limit C’s screen time and sugar intake but during this time she was sick…we let her do whateverrrrr.  I have never seen a more sick baby.  :(.  C is so tough and so energetic that even when sick you can’t really tell.  But this past week she was so lifeless that I kept checking to see if she was alive and breathing.  She lost so much weight and barely ate anything.  Poor baby.

Below as you can see, Lucy loved the pool bed.  The three of us took afternoon naps in it and lounged all day in it. 😛

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working mom life


the last two to three weeks in the blair home have been NUTSO.  mike and i have been insanely busy at work and well… that kind of means the rest of our lives take a back seat.  sigh.  i feel like when things are easing up for me, they are getting more stressful for mike and vice versa.  which means that we’re always in survival mode~ where one person is “single” for the night/week and we’re doing the best we can to get through that moment.  i feel like we’re always playing catch up and there is never a day or week where we feel “on top”.  i have such strange and conflicting feelings about working mom life.  it’s both amazing for our family and hard at the same time.  if i stayed home then i could do all the home stuff AND support our mike/our family in the ways we are “behind” right??  sigh… i dunno… but then would i feel fulfilled?

here are some lessons/hardships that maybe you other mamas are going through too?


there is never enough time to do anything.  we have no in-unit laundry or dishwasher.  we have no paid help either.  SOO trying to keep our place running in tip top shape is a losing battle.  charlotte can make a mess faster than you c an even THINK about cleaning.  sigh.  this is probably a phase, but i think this is one of the hardest things about being a working mama.  i wish i could have 2-4pm everyday to do one thing around the house or clean without any interruptions.  sadly on the days that mike and i really need it~ we give c a phone and clean as fast as we can.  in a perfect world we would have a full time nanny that does all the cooking and cleaning (and MAYBE do all the morning shifts before 8am.  lol)


i feel like this is a double edge sword.  my work is about 20-30 min away from our place, but b/c c is going to daycare VERY far out of the way, my commute is about 1.5 hours each way.  as hard as it is, i would NEVER change daycares~  another hardship of of the commute is the wasted time.  i listen to podcasts and really enjoy my alone time~ but i wish i weren’t driving.  i could get so much more done if i were in the backseat with a driver!!


i’ve been working since i was 20 and have a pretty sweet pension.  if i quit or go part-time~ i say buh-buh to the sweetest retirement i’ve set up.  i mean OBVI i can go part-time but i won’t be accruing my pension as quickly (which means i ultimately have to work longer) and leaving now means i still have a nice chunk of retirement set up but not as much as when i’d be getting at 61.  PLUS… you can never have enough money right?  it’s nice to have the extra income each month.

Ohhh and one kinda random/weird thing…i feel like i’d be losing my power and a sense of myself if i quit.  having a job is not only personally enriching (will talk about that later) but it gives me a secure backup in case something happens: mike loses his job, we are in a financial crisis, we need benefits, if mike (God forbid) passes away, or WHATEVER.  having a job always gives me, as a woman, options.  i feel like so many women are left with nothing if their breadwinning partner is no longer in the picture.  OR there are so many women who don’t leave a bad marriage b/c they don’t have options.  after being a women’s studies major, that is one story i heard ALL THE TIME. so sadly this is one small thing in the back of my mind i always think about.

Personal Enrichment/Socialization

the one super awesome thing about being a working mama is the socialization that it brings to our family.  i am able to get out of the house, socialize with people, do work that directly affects students, and have a career.  a career that i’m sure will one day bring me fulfillment (b/c right now i’m in coasting mode).  i’ve also made wonderful friends at work that are from totally different backgrounds and experiences.  being able to talk to them about family, parenting, etc is amazing and so enriching.

for c, being at the daycare has been HUGE.  she is playing with kids all day, she’s learning from awesome teachers, she is learning KOREAN, and just overall she is advancing so quickly.  after seeing the wonderful effects of daycare on c, i would totally send all of my kids~ even if i weren’t working.  i searched SO HARD for a good daycare and i’m grateful everyday that c goes there.  she is learning languages, songs, social & motor skills, and SO MUCH MORE.  this is the one thing that i’m happy and confident about as a working mom.

this has been my experience and journey as a new mama.  i feel like my world has been turned upside down.  i SUCK at life and at work.  i have no time to do more than the min at work.  i never get to see my non-west LA friends.  and so much more.  BUT THAT IS OK.  i’m accepting that this is a hard time in our journey as a family and that we will get through it.  i also have no regrets.  i love this perfect moment in our lives.  after our last baby is born and s/he is 4 things will get better.  but until that day comes…i’m going to look cray cray, have no long-term or short-term memory and be in survival mode.  so to all of my friends~ i apologize for the past 3 years and the future 10.  xoxo

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Everything You Need For an Infant 0-6 Months


Ergobaby  /  Glider  /  Medela Pump  /  Pampers Sensitive Wipes  /  4moms Rockaroo  /  Motherlove Nipple Cream  /  Hands-free Pumping Bra  /  Pampers Sensitive Diapers  /  Natursutton Pacifier  /  Blanket  /  Aden and Anais Swaddles  /  Bottle Warmer  /  Playtex Ventaire Bottles  /  Drying Lawn  /  Washclothes  /  Zip Onesies  /  Floral Boppy Pillow  /  Honest Dish Soap  /  Bottle Sterilizer  /  Bibs  /  Halo Sleep Sack

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Mommy Mondays: The Two Year Journey



WOW.  TWO YEARS AGO i had a little baby named charlotte and i became a mama.  i still can’t believe it.  i still cry seeing these pictures and the emotional and physical journey i went on.  here are some tidbits of the past two years…
wpid-20150508_123100.jpgit’s strange that you can love something new SOOOOO much.  i think that was the first thing that really struck me as a new mom…just how intensely i loved c the second i saw her in the delivery room.  i had SUCH a hard pregnancy and i feel like the labor was even harder.  i seriously gave up when i was pushing b/c i was too tired and it was too hard.  then to see the most perfect creature handed to you brings a flood of tears to my eyes (even now as i’m typing) and everything that happened in the last 20 hours and 10 months dissipates.  it was all worth it.  every sick feeling, every sprint to the bathroom to throw up, even ugly change pregnancy brought…it was all worth it to hold this perfect baby in my arms.  c was like MINUTES old, and i was already thinking about how i could do THIS 3, 4, 5 more times.  lol  crazy i know.  but that is just how much love came pouring out of me.
i would say the next 2 months i was in a cloud 9 fog.  i was SOOO excited and happy to have this baby.  exhaustion, lack of showers, spit up on my face… it was all this amazing dream that i was living in.  i kinda feel like i had waited for this day for so long, that nothing could keep my happiness from shining through.  i seriously felt GREAT.

although i didn’t have postpartum, i did have an OCD tiger mom come out of me.  everything had to be STERILE.  everything had to be PERFECT.  and everything had to be for the baby.  if even your face or fingers looked dirty, i was not going to let you hold my baby.  oh tiny baby who prob has germs at sunday school wants to come over?  um… no thanks.  you didn’t wash your hands for 1 min under boiling hot water?  try again.  you think a cloth only meant for c’s mouth can touch anything BUT my perfect babies mouth?  get away from us, you don’t get it.  use REGULAR soap on anything c touches?  HELL NO.  i’m sure you get the point.  i feel like all of my normal OCD came out in full force.  bless michael blair’s heart for going along with it.

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as c grew, literally EVERY stage was wonderful, perfect, and heart-bursting.  i literally couldn’t get enough of every single new thing she was doing.  even the hard times…don’t seem so hard b/c it begins and ends in the blink of an eye (or so it seems).  c had colic from like week 5 to 7 months-ish.  NOT FUN and NOT easy.  it took like 5 months to figure it all out and by the time we did, it was over.  haha and then she started the teething journey which was HARRRRRD.  i have never reached for something like teething tablets so fast in my life.  C also went from being a rockstar sleeper, to one that woke up 3-4 times a night.  i’ve never slept on the ground (w/o a pillow or blanket) so many times in my life.  i went to bed with c at 8pm and woke up at 630am with just enough energy to get through the day.  i look fondly back at that time now, but while we were going through it… MAN THAT WAS TOUGH.  showering, putting on makeup, matching clothing without stains, eating like a normal person at a table… all of those were luxuries.

mike finally took the lead at 10 months and started sleep training c and we saw the end of the tunnel.  we were finally getting REM sleep and even started to sleep in the same bed!!! (not one person on the floor of the nursery, one person gets to sleep in the bed).

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i have to say the hardest part of the two year journey wasn’t the baby, adjusting to new parts of your marriage, figuring out new relationships with friends/family, etc.  the hands-down hardest part was working while being a new mom.  working in a stressful job that never had slow-times.  putting all of my brain power into work when i didn’t have the bandwidth for it.  taking a sick baby to daycare when she should stay at home b/c i couldn’t call in sick AGAIN.  waking up a baby who should sleep more to rush to daycare when it opens, so that i can make my morning meetings.  not spending enough time with your baby at night after work and before bedtime… b/c there’s no way around working full-time.  the guilt of all of that is seriously the hardest to swallow.

after i had the baby, i feel like i also lost half of my brain.  for some reason i couldn’t recall ANYTHING.  normal words and details were wiped clean and replaced with formula measurements, feeding times, diaper facts, sleep training schedules, etc.  i even felt like my TONGUE wasn’t working and i kept tripping up on regular vocabulary at work.  it was WEIRD.  and ask me questions about something i was working on like TEN SECONDS before you walked in… “uhhh uhhhh one sec let me look” would be my answer.  i carried STACKS of papers with me wherever i went b/c i just couldn’t remember a damn thing without my notes.  i have never had so many instances where people were talking and my mind went blank (or i stopped listening) b/c i just couldn’t get it together.  i felt like a 1990s computer while everyone was running on the newest 2015 computer with endless processing speed and memory.

sigh.  this is the one thing that i seriously dread for baby #2.  (don’t worry ya’ll i’m not pregnant)  hopefully my mind won’t turn to jelly again tho.  eek.img_4990img_2057

from the time c walked at 10 months till 18 months.  that was SOOOOO fun and SOOO hard.  she was mobile and moving a mile a minute, but had absolutely no understanding of what was dangerous, what was inappropriate, what was hurtful to others (like hitting), etc.  c even went through a gnarly biting phase that has THANKFULLY gone away.  ugh.

going anywhere with c around this age was SUPER DUPER hard and draining.  i totally became that mom at the playground or gymboree class that said everything was “ok” and gave excuses.  oh shoot, c hit your kid?  i’m so sorry, she’s very spirited.  (polite laugh).  crap she just pushed that kid over there…but i’m too tired to get up so i’ll pretend like i didn’t see.  c isn’t sharing?  well… maybe the other kid needs to step it up and grab it away.  hahaha  all things that are NOT ok.  i was just EXHAUSTED from chasing her around all the time.  i even had to go to weekly chiropractor/acupuncture appointments for a while b/c i was physically incapable of keeping up with my new life.

the hardest part of this age literally went away overnight (or so it seems) when c hit 18 months.  from 18 months-20 months she became a legit toddler that UNDERSTOOD everything and was SUPER curious.  she helped around the house, needed to look at everything, need to TOUCH everything (eyeroll) and her personality REALLY came out.  it was the most awesome transition!!  by 20 months she was saying about 100 words and REALLY soaking up the world around her.

21 months-22 months, c’s vocabulary EXPLODED.  she started talking in 2-3 word sentences, she knew her colors, numbers, alphabets, she DANCED more, and she even knew how to read books!!  (i mean memorized versions, but STILL).  c’s personality also came out in FULL FORCE.  she is HILARIOUS, bossy, stubborn, free-spirited, easy going, a total tomboy, and TOUGH as nails.  and i know she i my child but she is VERY smart.  i can’t get over how quickly she learns everything and how FOCUSED she is when she wants to do or learn something .  she copies absolutely everything we do (even the way we stand or sit or fold our arms), and it makes me melt.

every night while she’s falling asleep she will literally say every single name and word she knows.  she will repeat phrases in songs and books over and over again.  she will play and sing to herself.  i love listening by the door and taking it all in.

she is also bilingual so she understands both and speaks a mixture of both.  she even has the cutest fob accent when saying certain things like “red-uh”.  she makes up her own words for things like “mai-mai” for socks and “ah chee” for together.  lol  i love it all and i am seriously loving this stage.

c is obsessed with “helping” right now and doing everything together.  as hard as it is to do something with her “helping”, it is worth it to see her tiny mind figuring it all out.  i can see the connections being made and the next time we do it, she’s seriously got it down!
261-IMG_3488375-IMG_3872333-IMG_3712361-IMG_3821314-IMG_3641i am very very very sad that this one year old journey is ending and c is entering the twos.  but then again… i can’t wait to see her personality blossom more and see her play soccer, learn ballet, and interact with kids on the playground more.  i thought my heart was bursting when she was a baby, but it has only grown bigger and bigger as c has gotten older.

all those sleepless nights and tough transitions wouldn’t have been possible for me without mike.  he has been a rock and the BEST partner to go through this journey with.  i have no idea how other couples do it or even single moms!  no idea.  raising a human, working full-time, and living LIFE is so darn hard… man.  i couldn’t have gotten to this point with the best partner in the world.  mike is so thoughtful, generous, patient, loving and the best father a family could ask for.  <3  i really lucked out with him!! xoxo
img_6250img_55602015-08-07 09.04.17are you dying over these photos??? because i know i sure am!!!  i can’t believe how muhc a little baby can change in two years.  so many faces, personalities, phases, and fun.  is it also strange that i can FEEL how i felt in that picture when i look back?  i can feel the fight that mike and i just had, or the night of no sleep while c was sick, or even the excitement of this new phase and she was going through it.  ^^

below are just about 100 more pictures of c these past two years.  i think i legit have about 120,000 photos of her from birth till now.  eek.  sorry not sorry?  haha

well enjoy these babies and thank you for reading up until now!!  it was a SUPER long ramble post.  =P  xoxo

look at those tiny little teeth!!!  gosh i DIE.img_9600img_9526img_5280img_8159c LOVES a good purse.img_6276img_6260img_6047fullsizerender

my grown up baby is TWO this weekend!!!cover-photo

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