Chang Bang Tang Squad

the chang family sans me.  the photographer sent me a preview of 10 photos from the first birthday party and when i saw this i was like, “uhhh i’m not in it…”  i showed my family and they laughed b/c they didn’t realize i wasn’t in it.  siiiigh.  see where this is going??  hahahaha  this is literally my parents and their golden son and their first cherished grand baby.  lollllll  story of my life… =T

anyway, my parents move to Hawaii where my brother was about 6.5 years ago and up until charlotte was born i was ok.  we skyped, talked to each other on the phone, texted and made it work.  i also spent a week or two in the summer visiting them and eating all my mama’s home cooking. <3

when i got pregnant, one of the first twinges of pain was that i wouldn’t have my parents next to me.  then after i gave birth, the one thing i needed/wanted were my parents.  it is SO WEIRD that i was a strong independent adult until this little babe came into this world and all over a sudden i needed my mommy and daddy.  lol  how ironic huh?

during my second trimester i got to go home and spend two weeks with the chang bang tang family and just soak up all the love and comforts that coming home feels like.  dreaming about and giggling over what baby c would be like with them settled and grounded me.  we discussed endlessly if she would look like me, be like me or have any of my traits.  we all prayed and hoped c would be strong, faithful, beautiful and successful in whatever she wanted to be.

after c was born, my chang bang tang squad huddled around her and made her the center of their world.  it was seriously the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen and totally melted my heart.  those moments reminded me how much i needed them, how much i loved them and how much i look forward to c growing up with them.  as the first chang grand baby she whines and has three adults catering to her needs, she points and everyone runs to grab her the toys, or she laughs and they all laugh with her.  goodness.  it’s seriously these moments i want to bottle up and remember forever.

i look forward to what the Lord has in store for us.  i am so grateful for my squad and love them so much.  these guys make me laugh, drive me nuts and are the most supportive, loving group around.  <3

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Charlotte’s OOTD

C is growing SO stinking fast I’m trying to take more photos of her in the morning before she goes to school.  It also helps that she’s the happiest in the morning after a full night’s rest and a belly full of milk. =)  Here are some of her outfits this last week!


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Life Lately…

Life in the Blair Household is still total chaos.  BUT I think it’s chaos with a pattern and we’re slowly getting a grip on things… (sometimes anyway).  Here are some photos of our craziness the last few weeks!

Wittle ponytail. It took me ten tries to get this one.  Sigh. I need to get better rubber bands?

C is literally a climbing machine.  Doh.  All objects can now be used to climb. 

This scooter is something we picked up on a whim at Walmart for $19 for Christmas and it is C’s favorite toy right now. This pic below she insisted on holding a book while Mike scooted her around.  Hahaha silly c  

she screams now when things go on her head.  >.<  i trie 50 times a day to put a headband or bow on there.  sigh.

my mom made her tons of baby food when she was here and bought here these special honey melons that c DIED over.  i’ve never seen her eat something up so fast!

We went to a two year old birthday party at the park and c was pleased as punch being there.  I seriously need to make a bigger effort to take her out more. :T. Oops.

c sits on this scooter and waits till someone pushes her.  Sooo stinking cute!!  I love that she is starting to communicate with us (even if it is non-verbal).  

all smiles in the morning. =)  love it.

We are teaching her to say hello (on the phone) in Korean    She picks up all remotes and objects that could work as a phone.  I die over this cuteness!We bought this $10 tunnel from ikea and it was the best investment.  C LOVES it and thinks it is hilarious to roll around in it and drag it from place to place.  

c is entering a stage now where she loves to copy.  this is one of them.  she wants to wear glasses just like mama.  =P


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Mommy Mondays: Working Mama Struggles

Mommy Mondays 3

this one is a topic that i’m currently struggling with and i’m not sure if i ever will stop.  i am a working mama and it has SO SO hard.  i constantly waiver back and forth whether i should quit my job and stay home.  i write lists and debate in my head the pros and cons of each.  at the moment it is more beneficial to our family if i continue to work but it’s not an easy decision that i do so.

i love the independence of working.  i love being around adults and having my own projects to complete.  working at ucla has been a total dream and i have met so many wonderful friends here.  i just passed my 10 years for working at a UC and next June i will have worked just at UCLA for 10 years.  i literally grew up in the UC system (having attended one for college as well).  i don’t even know what corporate life would be like!  lol

i always knew i wanted four kids and i still do.  what i didn’t quite anticipate was how obsessed i would be with motherhood and charlotte.  after she was born i realized…hey i’m pretty controlling, ocd and obsessive.  lol  when she is sick, i don’t want anyone else to be with her except me.  i want to be the one to comfort her and take her to the doctor.  it is so hard when i have to drop her off at daycare or have someone else stay home with her b/c i have to go to work.

in addition to those hard sick days, there are SO MANY things i read about that i want to do with her: sensory play, going to library story times, gym and music classes for babies, mommy and me groups at church, etc.  i wish so badly that i could take her to the park in the daytime and have her enjoy the fun that many other kids do.  sigh.  in my mind i want things to be structured and i want to raise charlotte a certain way.  but life as a working mom doesn’t give me the flexibility or time to execute those wishes.

when i was looking for a daycare i was on the brink of a meltdown because i couldn’t find something perfect enough.  i know that no place ever will be, but i had certain standards i refused to compromise on.  one example: i would not allow charlotte to go to a daycare that people wore shoes in.  she would be putting her face on the floor, crawling around and putting her hands in her mouth all day.  i couldn’t bear to think that someone would be dragging in dirt from outside where dogs pee and people spit.  hell to the no.  i wanted the floors to be as sterile as can be.  at one daycare i saw a caretaker walk all over the baby blankets with her shoes on and then put the baby down for tummy time.  barf.  then that same daycare dropped a pacifier on the floor, put it back in the baby’s mouth (same baby btw) with a long black hair attached to it (which then hung from the baby’s mouth).  BARF.

after tons of daycare tours, phone calls and pleas to friends for recommendations, i found THREE that i loved.  in the end we went with the one that fit our needs the best but that entire journey was really difficult as a new mom.

this is charlotte’s first year of life and my first year at work in my new role.  when stress levels are high at home and at work, it’s really difficult to split myself up or even give 100% at home and 100% at work.  when i speak with other moms they say that they have the same struggle.  many of my friends are really ambitious and try to climb the corporate ladder at the expense of their families.  in my case i feel like i put all my energy into c and our family and i’m so burnt out when i get to work.  not giving 100% at work makes me feel like such a failure and i HATE that feeling.  i so wish everything i did was perfect but my time and energy and mental capacity are so stretched.  sigh.

i’m not sure where this leaves me or what the future will bring but this is my current struggle.  i don’t know how millions of other moms do it.  this could possibly be just a little phase while the babies are young and once they go to school it gets better?  i don’t know.  i also don’t know how i would juggle a larger family + work since having just charlotte is insanely difficult.

anyway…there is no solution or teaching moment in this post.  just figuring this out day-to-day and i guess i’ll have to re-evaluate my next steps with each new chapter of our lives. =)  any other mama’s out there struggling with the same thing??

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First Birthday Details at Saladang Song

we haven’t gotten the professional pictures back yet but here are some gorgeous details from C’s first birthday!  what a fun sneak peak. ^^

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Adults Only

april 20th mike and i celebrated our third anniversary party together.  we took the day off and spent the afternoon together.  it felt like we were on a first date b/c we rarely have alone time together.  talking to each other about our lives beyond our little babe.  it was a fun time to talk about our careers and goals for the next few years too.

here are some pictures from our fun adventure this past wednesday! =)


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Birthday fashion 

So about a month back I went nuts at nordstroms and bought four dresses to possibly wear to Charlotte’s dol (first birthday) (click here to see post).  Well…as you can see below I did not wear any of them.  Sigh.

Anyone as spastic and indecisive as me about clothes??   

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Three Year Anniversary

Holy cow this anni seriously snuck up on me.  Life has been such a blur and I am so very sleep deprived these days.  Sigh.  Well in honor of our third anni Mike and I are taking the day off and enjoying the day as a couple (sans baby).  😀

Umm so can we just take a look at these pics below when Mike and I met?  I was 45lbs thinner and in the best shape of my life.  I can’t believe how fit and fresh and glowy I am.  Damn youth cannot be bought huh?  

I always write sappy sweet posts for our marriage anniversary and our dating anniversary (8 yrs this August 1st!!). So I thought I might as well reflect on my skinny past and show pictures of how young Mike and I were!  Gosh…   
Damn we look like babies here don’t we??? Mike was 22 I think and I was 24.  Love that we have known each other and loved each other for so long.  He is the best and biggest blessing in my life.   Thank you Jesus. ^^


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Mommy Mondays: Diaper Rash Cream Review

for the past month, Charlotte and her body have gone through the ringer.  she has been congested, had mucus coming out of her eyes, contracted hand, foot mouth disease, had a double ear infection, was given antibiotics that she was allergic to, was given new antibiotics that her body only tolerated, was given benedryl around the clock for 5 days, had peeling hands and feet from the HFMD, had diarrhea from all the meds and refused to sleep at night from all the discomfort.  sigh.

this past month has been INSANE and of course C had the gnarliest diaper rash to go with it.  i think everything that was happening + the diarrhea + the HFMD made her delicate skin down there RAW.  like BLEEDING raw.  it was SOOO sad to watch her go through it, and for the first time i wished i could take pain away from her.  like i could some how transfer good skin to her down there and endure her pain myself.  each time she peed or pood she cried like someone was pinching her.  trying to wipe there?  forget about it.  it was a losing battle.

so in sheer desperation we tried EVERYTHING to help the rash.  here is what i learned about the products above so that you may not have to go through what we did!

  1. Desitin:  solid cream.  GREAT for normal redness down there or when it’s super hot outside (to prevent heat rash).  in the case of C’s insane diaper rash, this wasn’t the BEST.  it helped keep her skin from getting more irritated but it didn’t actually heal her skin.
  2. Aquaphor: great universal cream.  when it’s hot outside, i literally rub this ALL OVER c and in between her rolls/folds so that she doesn’t chafe or get a heat rash.  i also use this at night before c goes to bed since she is in the same diaper for 10+ hours.  even with overnight diapers it can’t be great to have skin touching pee for that long.  (not sure if that is fact/medical but just my opinion)
  3. Target’s Up and Up version of Aquaphor: a very watery version of aquaphor.  i won’t be buying this again.  it still works great at night on C’s delicate area or even on her skin if she has a red nose (from congestion) or on a little scratch on her face or skin.  but because it’s so watery…i don’t really think it does as much as Aquaphor would.
  4. Honest Healing Balm:  GREAT universal cream just like Aquaphor.  i use this very generously all over C just like Aquaphor.  love that it’s more organic and without harsh chemicals.
  5. Boudreaux’s Butt Paste: MIRACLE WORKER.  i was pretty skeptical about this b/c so many people use Desitin but after we started using this, C’s diaper rash began to heal (in conjunction with #6).  this cream is not as thick as Desitin (which is why i was skeptical) but it worked wonders on C down there.
  6. Neosporin (or in our case, CVS’s generic version):  so this one, i have to say i made up and am not sure what drs would say… so major disclaimer.  lol  C was bleeding down there and her skin was R A W.  like as soon as i would take the diaper off blood droplets would form on her skin.  any diaper wipe would make her scream and cry out in pain~ SO STINKING SAD.  c is SO TOUGH that seeing her cry like this pained us even more.  anyway, i figured that if there was a lesion on any other part of her body i would put this on to help heal her skin.  so i did a mixture of things.  i would give c a bath before her nap, she would nap without her diaper on (on top of a towel) to let the skin breathe, i would put on this antibiotic ointment every time i changed her diaper (and before her naps on the towel), and then putt the butt paste on top of the ointment when she was wearing a diaper.  literally after the first 3 uses of neosporin, i noticed a HUGE difference in her skin.  HUGE.  even without letting C air it out all the time (b/c girlfriend peed/pooed all over our house), the ointment itself started to rapidly heal c’s skin.  a week after being super diligent about the ointment, her skin is almost healed.  PRAISE JESUS.
  7. Baby Powder (pic not shown): every baby site and book says no to baby powder.  the little particals can get into your baby’s lungs and it’s just not good.  we got one of these at our baby shower and it was still in the wrapping until this cray baby rash.  we used it here and there when especially desperate but i’m not sure it did anything.  like it obviously absored moisture but i’m not sure if it helped heal or protect anything.  probably won’t use this again until the summer months when i worry about c getting a heat rash~ or maybe i wont.  i don’t know…
  8. Boogie Wipes (pic not shown): ok, so these wipes are AWESOME.  i was VERY skeptical about them b/c i thought it was gimmick but they were a lifesaver.  c has basically had a runny nose since she went into daycare 7 months ago.  there was a 2 week period in hawaii when she wasn’t in daycare that she didn’t have it, but outside of that she ALWAYS has a runny nose.  great for pictures, life, clothes, our couch… >.<  anyway, when c’s sick her nose gets REALLY red and she cries whenever we wipe her nose with a baby wipe.  (Disclaimer: i’ve been told MANY times that you shouldn’t use baby wipes on a baby’s face so we try to only use water wipes.  BUT sometimes tissues and cloths don’t get the boogers like a baby wipe.  sorry mommy blogs out there.  sometimes you need a chemical wipe.  shrug.)  I got SUPER sick a few months back and ended up using the same wipes on my nose and realized… that shit BURNS.  no WONDER c cries every time we use it!  the water wipes do NOTHING for mucus boogers so I was back to saline spray, tissues and q tips to get c’s thick boogers out.  when i saw a commercial for boogie wipes, it reminded me how much the regular wipes can burn so i bought 1 order from amazon (3-pack) to start using on her face.  when C got this crazy diaper rash and the regular wipes were making her shriek in pain, i switched to using these boogie wipes and it was our saving grace.  no joke.  they didn’t burn, they didn’t make her cry in pain.  they were big and strong enough to wipe her, yet SO SO SO gentle.  i’m a total believer in this product now.


ok this is a very very long post but hopefully it helps you out when you don’t know what cream to buy or what to use on your little one!  xo

More Mommy Monday Posts:

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Mommy Mondays: Fun Parenting Links

Mommy Mondays 3

I have so many parenting or mommy related things I want to share, so I figured I’d try to make it a nice series so it’s easy to follow. =)  Here is my first post!

two fun links regarding parenting and motherhood. =)

Are you a TIRED parent?  Keep Reading… 

Best Comic that Captures The First Year of Motherhood

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Sunday Funday

Last week Mike and I went to a wedding for exactly 1.5 hours. :(. C was home sick and the baby sitter called bc she was being quite the handful.  Wahh. This was seriously one of the most gorgeous weddings E V E R  and it looked like the Korean Buffet was gonna be B O M B.  

Sigh. Alas we didn’t get a chance to even smell the food before we had to leave.  I will always be sad about that.  

Anyway, here are the gorgeous details of the wedding.  If I could do it all over again this is it~~ every last detail was perfect.  This wedding took place at Millwick in downtown LA.  Simply gorg for the greatest bride and groom! Xoxo

  Wedding details :). Lace and leather.   Gorgeous nooks and crannies 



The beautiful bride and groom <3  

The wedding took place across from our old church, which was held at the art share for a few years.  Such great memories.    

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