Hope you are all safe and enjoying the holiday weekend with your family!
A few nights ago she had her second and third seizure in a twelve hour period. :(. Since this was my second and third experiences with it i didn’t panic the way i did the first time (Lucy Scare) but I did have some flash forwards for a life without her. only deep sadness came to mind. =(
With her seizures I’ve noticed a pattern~~ she jumps up runs around like someone is chasing her and then stops short in full seizure mode. Her body tightens, freezes, she chomps, a little foam comes out of her mouth, she pees on herself and then falls over in a swimming dog motion. SUPER SCARY to witness and I feel so powerless watching it all happen.
This time around, since I knew what was happening I tried to soothe her and told her how much I loved her. I pet her gently soothing her as best as I could until it was all over. Then I picked her up, wrapped her in a blanket and held her for a while. (cut to a long silence of me imagining a life without her…tear)
Thankfully my friend from college is a vet in LA and I rushed her to him the next morning. He did a blood test, checked her vitals and just gave her the love and care we both needed. Blood results came back ok (not perfect) and we have to put her on a little medication for her liver (which is a relief that it’s not necessarily neurological)… but sigh…I think I need to make a lot of changes for her diet and making sure she exercises more.
I hope and pray that Lucy and Charlotte have a long life together of playing, making messes, getting into trouble and just being the best of friends. ^^
[BTW if you’re in the LA area and want a trustworthy vet~ I recommend Park Animal Hospital in Simi Valley. Far if you’re not out in the Valley but TOTES worth it. I drive out there 1-3 times a year to check on Lucy’s health and it’s the best investment of time, gas and money! Jae Yoo (my vet) has the sweetest bedside manner (which is muy importante to me), is very honest about the needs of Lucy (rather than other vets pressuring me to get extra shots and tests I don’t need), and is just so darn good with her! I’ve been to a few vets in the last two years and they always seemed apathetic or sleazy with an end goal of charging me an arm and a leg. Dr. Yoo and Park Animal Hospital are definitely the opposite of that! AND I’m saying this as a very very picky, needy patient. LOL]
below is a pic of morning cuddles before daycare. they love each other so~ even though lucy is terrified of c, she is always so curious about her and tries to be near her. ^^
Right now there are small things in my life that make me happy~
1. Bliss lotion from Nordstrom rack. It is super thick (for winter skin) and I like the smell. 🙂
2. My zucchini spiral-er. I pair it with a thick meat sauce since Mike and I are easing our way into healthier/low carb eating. Trying anyway.
9. My new large weekender from le sportsac! I’ve been wanting one of these for a while now and I finally picked one up! 😀
I’ve had this hand sanitizer bottle for like…2.5-3 years. :T. Gross?
I’ve had this lotion for like 2.5-3 years and I use it at least once a day. Gross?
I’m not sure if these products are magical and have no end or am I using way too little or just not enough???
[how cute is my little boo above here?? she is my special fur babe. ^^]
another installment of random things in my life curated into one long post =) bear with me ya’ll, this one might be a long one…
- i’ve been feeling super run down lately. not only physically tired but mentally as well. i feel like my memory card is full and i need a system reboot. C has been sick off and on (mostly on) for 7 weeks now. that means she no longer sleeps through the night b/c she has a stuffy nose and sometimes she wakes up 3 times a night. i wanna DIE. those nights. DIE. The lack of sleep, time for myself, and just REST has taken its toll~~ i’m like a zombie going about my day. I can do big picture stuff, but the details are just painful. Not great for the work place. double sigh.
- pros about the nights above? in the middle of the night when i’m feeding c or comforting her, i squeeze her extra tight and try to make a mental memory of her little body melted into mine. i try to memorize her little grunts and soft cries as she tries to soothe herself back to sleep. oh and her sleeping face? i DIE. i love how peaceful it is, how her little lips protrude out, how she sucks in her sleep and how her cheeks are chubbier than ever. swooooon. and her little hands moving around while she sleeps??? adorrrrbs.
- C moved into her own room about 2-3 weeks ago. i may or may not be sleeping in there as well… meybe. (insert side eye emoji) at first i slept on the freaking ground for about 1.5-2 weeks. then i went back to my own bed for 1 weekend. THEN i smarted up and started sleeping on our single air mattress in her room. =D i dunno… i know this is SUCH a bad habit but i have major separation anxiety! i feel like i spend so little time with her and if she cries in the middle of the night i want to be a few steps away, not a whole room away. sigh… i know i got problems. part of me does keep thinking that this baby stage is so temporary and fleeting~ i have every right to cling and sleep by her side. hahah RIIIIGHT?? [c with her toys. gf LOVES her toys]
- we got a housekeeper. FREAKING CHANGED MY LIFE. i had this really big guilt battle over getting one for YEARS. i felt like i was being lazy or it was a waste of money~~ that a housekeeper would be stupid for us to get. even when i was pregnant and feeling so miserable~ we still cleaned the house ourselves. after baby, i still had that mindset and i think we were doing well for a while but mike and i were just EXHAUSTED. we are over tired, we have so many other things going on and it just seemed like the time we spent away from C to clean wasn’t worth it. it would literally take us a whole weekend to clean since we were tired and had to take turns watching C. But the housekeepers we got are BOMB. 2 people clean EVERYTHING you can think of (and things you didn’t even KNOW needed to be cleaned) in under 3 hours. i will now forever use a housekeeper. totally worth the time, money and stress relief. Mike has tried to convince me for years to get one and he was totally right! =P now…i’m even considering a laundry service. laundry service and a chef to cook in bulk once a week would be HEAVEN.
- oh did i mention that i talk about needing a driver??? continuing my point from above about how time is gold these days~~ if i could have a driver i would be 5x more productive. i could work in the car, get a bunch of errands done, watch a friggin TV show or movie, and be able to have “me time” in the back seat. even napping on the way to and from work/daycare would be life changing. i have no idea how much this even costs but WHEN (not if) i win the lotto this will be my first splurge!! heheheheheeeeeee
- i am OBSESSED with podcasts. OBSESSED. i have enough in my queue to last like 3 days. lolll
- over veteran’s day i had the day off (and unexpectedly so did c), so i took her to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and to my hair appointment. i called ahead to those places to let them know about C and they were all SOOO accommodating! i loaded up c’s car seat with tons of toys and she played for about 30 min at each place. after that she got fussy and wanted OUT. luckily the receptionists at each place were more than happy to play with her while i finished up. win for mommy =)
- i am STILL slowly throwing out tons of things. this past week i gave away almost all of my shoes (or the old ones that no longer fit), I’ve given away tons of clothes i wear all the time but hate, and gone through my jewelry and given away tons of things i don’t wear. what is TERRIBLY sad is i probably wear 1 big suitcase full of stuff and the rest is just… THERE. i know i should be brave and just toss all of it but that freaks me out. so in the meantime…i will slowly continue to throw things away at my snail’s-hoarder instinct-pace. btw, i tossed my berkies. =T bittersweet. those babies got me through some tough times when i was pregnant. >.<
- i have about 8-9 months of magazines piled up in the corner of our living room. i refuse to throw them away because i’m convinced i’ll have a day to read it all and feel normal again. fashion mags + nail polish symbolize youth and “free time” to me so i’m CONVINCED i’ll be able to get back there shortly. (fingers crossed)
- i obsessively watch youtube vlogging videos of a girl (that shall not be named) who i know is annoying and everyone around me thinks is too…but it’s like a weird drug. i can’t stop watching her!!!! ahhh i need a serious intervention. i also watch a few other embarrassing video bloggers but i have a weird sick obsession with one in particular. LOLLLLLLL
- ok, last very funny and very weird thing…..when i can’t fall asleep at night or i’m stuck in traffic, i ALWAYS think about what i would do in a zombie apocalypse or if there was a natural disaster. i prepare a mental list of things i need, actions i would take, etc etc etc. hahaha SO WEIRD right??? but i very seriously think about this all the time. puhahahahaha i told my brother and mike about it recently and it was REALLY entertaining. we compared lists of things we would get, what we would do, etc. conclusion? i would actually be the first to die. i never realized i would need WEAPONS! gahh i only thought about food, water, meds and baby stuff. sigh.
anyway~ hope you guys had a great weekend!!! happy mondayyyyyy~~ xoxoxo
I’m pretty picky about perfume and I’ve been using tons of samples lately to figure out what scent doesn’t annoy me. I tried to find something that wasn’t as pricey as JM but…alas couldn’t. I’m trying to consciously choose nicer things and not have as many things.
This weekend I finally got the two scents on my wish list! 🙂 how pretty is all the wrapping?
I’m pleased as punch over my new purchases. Fun fact~ Kate Middleton wears JM too! Her scent is bleh tho… (Insert emoji of monkey covering his mouth)
this was meant to be posted WEEKS ago… sigh… better late than never right??
A lot of big firsts have been happening in the Blair household which have been both exciting and bittersweet. Charlotte is growing like a weed and I can’t believe how fast time is FLYING by!
C is 6.5 months old now and just the most incredible, amazing, super happy baby around. I love each second with her and I’m trying to savor EVERY SECOND I have while she is this age and going through this stage of life.
We have been going through MANY firsts in the Blair home and these are just three of the big ones below!
- We have successfully moved C into her own room. She’s still in the bassinet (b/c the vibrating function is clutch), but it was huge for us to put her in her own room and get her used to being there. [i may or may not be sleeping in the room “just in case”. and i may or may not have major separation anxiety about leaving her in a room by herself. ^^]
- C is CRAWLING!! not just scooting anymore but FULL BLOWN CRAWLING. cray. i’m SOOOO happy for her and this new stage she is going through, i’m a LIIIIITTLE sad and stressed that now we can’t just leave her sitting quietly with toys like we used to. C loves finding things to crawl too and much to our dismay~ it’s always lucy’s toys or treats. >.< sigh…. 3. C can STAND!!! not on her own of course, but she can pull up like a champion and if we prop her up standing, she will stay there trying to balance herself for about 30 seconds to a minute. SO RAD. she’s also slowly scaling the couch and reaching out for things that are surface level to her face. We need to order baby proofing stuff on amazon ASAP. thank GOD for prime.
Wednesday was veteran’s day and the day totally got away from me. Again. Sigh.
Anyway on that special day I want to honor my very very special brother. West Point grad, Iraqi war vet, army intelligence officer, major in the reserves, the accolades LITERALLY go on and on and ONNN…
Anyway on Halloween this past year my brother was honored as the Veteran of the UCLA game!!
Such a big honor and I’m so very proud of him!
my faaaave eyeliner of the moment. glides on super easy and stays on all day. up until now i’ve only used pencil since i’m terrible at drawing eyeliner straight, but this tip makes it so easy!
I still love my Maybelline pencil but this liquid liner and applicator gives you the cleanest, thinnest line and allows me to create a sexy/bold/dramatic wing tip.
i have so many random things to say or reflect on that i’m going to try to make this a series of “fun things…” every week is probably too much, so maybe bi-monthly? anyway, here’s this new installment. =D
- i’ve been wearing glasses more lately. i used to NEVER wear them and thought it was too frumpy of me. but……it’s a freaking miracle if i brush my teeth in the morning and wash my hair at night. so glass is ok! lol
- my commute has gone from 40 min total per day to 2 hours. i have stocked my car with snacks, water bottles, and random things that i can’t live without (chapstick, etc). so weird that i can’t last 2 hours with a freaking granola bar and water~ but i can’t. my hanger gets real ya’ll.
- i was just able to put my engagement ring on for the first time in a year and i feel like a newly engaged person again. i can’t stop staring my ring or my left hand. LOL definitely takes me back.
- mike HATES all the shoes i own. i need to get some new ones. b/c i am convinced my feet are still “shrinking” back, i only wear the same 2-3 pairs. he has told me on many occasions that i need to throw them all away and start over again. LOLLLLL i think it’s hilarious that he is more concerned with my shoe fashion than i am.
- i got in a tiny fender bender back in early october and the other lady drove away before i could do anything! i tried chasing her down but i lost her. when it happened i was like “SHIIIZ mike is gonna kill me!!”. luckily the damage was super duper minor, no one was hurt, and mike didn’t kill me after all. he did let out a few deeeeeeeep sighs tho. eek. sowy.
- i just found out you burn 20 calories for every 1 oz of breastmilk you pump. more motivation to increase my supply! a girl i know can make 2 GALLONS a day. waaaaaaaaaaaat. that is a little more than 5000 calories a day. i would kill for that supply and metabolism to go with it. i’d be the skinniest new mama on the block. (insert sexy hip pose)
- i actually like working. not sure if i can say i love my job, but i like the routine and schedule of working. this was a huge surprise for me since i think about being a housewife/stay at home puppy mama all the time.
- i’ve been so busy that i haven’t been watching tv or my shows. our dvr is like at 90% always because i’m so behind. what’s HILARIOUS is that the DVR showed mike how busy i was and he started to talk to me about taking more time for myself. LOL now when we’re at home he always wants me to watch my shows and does more around the house to make sure i can sit and see an episode of something. now… is that super sweet of him or is it a little selfish since it means he can’t record his own shoes? hmmmmm…interesting…food for thought.
- i limit my caffeine intake and always have to plan it out so that i drink it right when i’m pumping. one of my biggest wishes as of late is to drink 3 (or 5) venti iced lattes without guilt or worrying about it going into my milk. >.< wahhhh
- i got a coconut milk iced latte recently b/c i saw chriselle lim and song of style drinking em. LOL not terrible. definitely “diet” but not bad. i love whole milk or 2% milk lattes. so rich and creamy.
- i never pegged myself as this person, but i’ve turned into a hippie dippy “breast is best” kind of a person. never ever thought i would be like that. at first i thought i would do formula mainly or maybe nurse for 3 months. soon my goal changed to nurse for 6 mo, then it turned into 7 mo, and now my goal is 1 year. not sure if i can really make it but i will be SO FREAKING PROUD of myself i can. i have so much pride in myself and my ability to do this as a mom (no matter my other shortcomings as one are). i love watching her gain weight and grow like a weed drinking my milk~~makes me feel SO GOOD. i’m someone who always takes short cuts and the easy way out of things. i’m surprised at my commitment towards this one area of my life. shocked. i asked mike recently if he knew this about me and he said yes~ he knew how intense i was. LOLL i mean… i lugged a backpack of milk + ice around disneyland all day in august so that i could bring it back home to C. puhahahaha
- i heart korean dramas. i’m obsessed. i even think about the story lines on my commute. puhahaha
- i’m slowly accepting that i’m not in my 20s… >.< makes me sad.
till next bi-monthly post. =) hope you enjoyed these little random snippets of my life and thoughts. ^^