Tiger Mom

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my coworker sent me this link recently about the changing climate of students on campus and that really got me thinking… my first reaction was a huge eye roll and lots of agreement over needy students and how parents are calling me and emailing me on behalf of their children (at UCLA).  i felt very self righteous as i judged those kids and those parents…but then i realized…i miiiiiiiight be one of them.

examples…

  1. i hover over her when people are around.  like i might move around and pretend to be “coo” with you holding C, but i’m super tense inside.  there are for sure people i’m super duper comfortable leaving her with, but 99% of the time…all my senses are at attention and i’m secretly hawk-eyeing you as i move around.  lol  cweeeped yet?
  2. when she fusses or cries a little and another person is holding her… my emotions sky rocket.  i might not run over and grab her away…but i want to.  i want to hold her, comfort her and tell her she is the most perfect baby in the world and mama loves her SOOOOoooOOOOO much.  (overkill?  meybe)
  3. i have been having such a hard time sleep training her b/c i cannot bear to hear her cry.  mike and i have sort of meshed a few sleep training methods together to find something we’re most comfortable with but it KIIIIIILLS me to hear her cry so hard.  i feel like she feels abandoned and she’s sad i haven’t come in running.  <–this is EXACTLY what most parenting books say is bad but that’s my natural instinct!  i never want her to wonder if we’re coming or not.  if we’ve left her or not.  (i am about to cry now just thinking about it.  hoooorrrrmoooones)
  4. i push C’s motor skill development along as much as possible.  for instance: major tummy time, sitting her in a bumbo to learn to sit, then sitting her up to sit her up on her own, standing her up and having her hold onto things, helping her pull herself up, etc.  so far C has been doing beautifully and been really receptive to the extra training!

anyway…there are tons more reasons and examples why I’m a cway tiger mom but… what can i say?  i love her to death and i want her to be as successful as possible.  true there are lots of things that can affect her individuality and personal growth, but that’s where michael blair comes in.  he will help reign me back at all those parent-teacher conferences, sporting events where someone bumps/hurts my child, or on the playground when a snotty little kid tries to cut in line or take things away from C while she’s playing with an object, OR to the future bully who tries to hurt C!!  pshhh i’m getting upset already just thinking about it.  ANYWAYY i’m the biggest contradiction as a parent so far and i know it’ll be a life long battle to not overprotect, over parent, over control or over tiger my babies.  ^^

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Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch

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we picked up a little pumpkin today!  hehe i kiddd… it’s just my supah adorable baby c. =D  i was SOOO excited to go to the pumpkin patch this year.  SOOO excited. hahaha i carefully planned this halloween out with C in 3 halloween costumes: lion, minnie mouse, and a pumpkin!  =D

i have no idea why but there are activities that i saved in my brain for “when i have kids” and i can’t seem to deviate from them.  mike was so sick on this day that we went to the pumpkin patch and it was hot outside.  did that stop me from having a day of fun?  NO.  were they actually having fun?  prrrobaby not…  but will these pictures always be in our memory book as the best first halloween ever?  YESSS =DDDD  #momwins

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i DIE over this face.  i love her so much my heart hurts and my eyes get watery when i see her pics.  this may or may not be a hormonal thing i’m still going through but for now…i don’t mind.  ^^

IMG_5906IMG_5928gahh i die over making her do things like this.  kekekekekekeeeee
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this was C’s “i’m over this” face.  >.<

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a little side eye annoyed action down below.  waaaat. can a 5 month already give you a look like that???

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here is C in a minnie mouse outfit at home.  she was not digging it and wouldn’t smile for me.  boo.

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Lion and the Tamer

kekekeke i die over these.  happy halloweeeeeen this weekend!!

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C was AWESOME and just sat there the whole time.  ms lucy was ridic.  she hated her hat, only wanted treats and ran to great everyone that walked by.  *sigh *

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Work Uniform

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I’ve talked about this a few times this year and since July I’ve been wearing my “work uniform”.  I cannot tell you enough how much I love it.  It is SO FREAKING EASY to get dressed in the mornings.  I know I’m always going to wear black pants and a blouse.  What blouse?  That takes me about 10 seconds to choose and I’m done!  This is just a small sample of outfits above but the idea is that i wear a blouse and black pants or a dress to work.  easy peasyyy.  i highly recommend you try it if you have trouble getting dressed in the mornings!

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Marriage

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markel and i have been together for a little over 7 years now.  CWAY.  i cannot believe how quickly time is slipping by and when i reflect on who mike and i are as a team and as a married couple… a lot of interesting things come to mind.

  1. we met when we were REALLY YOUNG, impressionable and figuring out who we were.  mike had just moved back to LA after graduating college and i had just moved to LA.  as we were going through these life transitions it was totally God’s hand that we met how we did and fell in love.
  2. i think about this one all the time… mike always lets me be me.  whether it’s right or wrong, embarrassing or not… he gives me enough room to always find myself and just… BE.  there are phases that i went through that i cringe when thinking about.  nights were i stumbled around drizunk and he always took care of me.  i feel like most significant others would have yelled, tried to control their partners or been really mad.  he has always been incredibly patient, loving and just open to letting me “do me”.  makes me love him more and try to reciprocate that safe space he gives me.
  3. our relationship has gone through so many changes and dynamics in just this short time.  i feel like he’s been really taking on the leadership role and has grown into this “head of household” position.  my natural instinct is to always argue back and scream “i do what i want!” but… i’m trying my best to be a good partner/supporter/wifey.
  4. more on the point above…mike has really grown into the leader role.  i feel like i had a much bigger say and influence in the beginning but these days, he has really taken everything on and been the stronger voice.  i find that i’m always going to him for the final decision, he’s always the person i want to talk something out with, and he is the voice i hear in my head when i spill things on his precious couch or push the stroller incorrectly… or scratch the car.  eek.  when i reflect on this new dynamic i feel so grateful.  i love to see how much mike has matured and changed and really taken fatherhood/husband life so seriously.  he works so hard for us and he does so much around the house (even tho i complain he doesn’t).  when he’s gone on his many business trips, i’m always reminded how much we need him and how much he does for us on a daily basis.
  5. we both stress out about completely different things, which has been the biggest complement of our relationship.  when he is stressed out max, i can take over the household chores/details and vice versa.  we’re able to calm each other and relieve the other person of certain stressors.  it’s been really nice.
  6. Enter B A B Y.  what a shocking mixup to our dynamic.  The rush of hormones, new baby, trying to survive, sleep deprivation, total unknowns on how to take care of a child, family dynamics, and just LIFE…has led to many polite fights (b/c we never yell), many tense or snappy voices, cold shoulder silence, deep sighs and lots of angry side eyes.  hahaha  if it weren’t for our solid foundation before baby… man it would be TOUGH.  i totally get why the teens in ’16 and pregnant’ never make it!  lolllllllllllllll yes i did just compare real life to that show.
  7. physical touch has never been so important.  time is so precious and life is so crazy that mike and i are lucky if we even get to kiss goodbye in the mornings, hug before bed, or even hold hands on the couch.  it’s a miracle if we even get a 5 second cuddle in.  sigh.  i know it’s such a brief moment in our lives where things will be like this, but just those tiny pockets of time where we get to act normal.  i get those lovey dovey feelings for mike again and i’m excited for some normalcy where we get to build more layers to our foundation.  with each new layer and chapter, the fact that we still love each other has been incredibly rewarding and encouraging.  like even after this insane time we’re still so smitten with each other. ^^  now… to test this marriage with 2, 3, or 4 kids!!  =D  oh and 2 more doggies.  hehehe now wouldn’t THAT be fun!
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Lucy’s 2nd Birthday

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last year we did a huge dohl (first birthday) for her but this year it was a small family affair. =P  i made party hats and our two babies posed together on our bed on a lazy sunday morning.  i am obsessed with this new family of mine.  i can’t get enough of our big cuddles and love spending the morning together in bed or in C’s playroom.  i can’t wait to watch these two grow up together.  i look forward to when C eats solids and starts throwing food down for her bestie, lucy, to lap up!  ^^

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The Purge

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i’ve been writing this litto blog of mine since 2009.  i had almost 2300 posts.  CRAY.  this blog evolved from fashion/celeb stuff to posts about my life.  i’m both proud and happy with the way it’s grown and changed as i have changed.  recently i went through and purged over 600 posts.  SIX HUNDRE.  there were lots of things that were not relevant anymore, pics and links from the web were no longer working… etc etc.

even though it’s a digital purge i feel great!

just a fun little update.  i’m sure none of ya’ll went back that far to notice but… just FYI. =D

 

xoxo

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Disneyland: Bachelorette Party

For Jen’s Bach we went to disneyland!  It was such a fun day of rides, food and fun.  Some of the girls even got massages at the California Grand Hotel. One thing I was so impressed with was that Disneyland is SUPER prepared for mommies.  There’s a special pump/nursing room and first aid will even hold your pump for you!  I hadn’t been to Disneyland in SOOO long that this was the best day of MY life.  lol

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the gorgeous bride-to-be

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i thought i had a lot more photos but i think they’re all mixed in with the thousands i have of baby c.  sigh.  sooooooooo excited for this weekend!! ^^

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Bridal Shower: Jane Austen Theme

In honor of my bestie getting married this weekend here is a post from her GORGEOUS shower!  Jane Austen Themed! xoxoxo

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Goodbye Excess Makeup

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In my PB Life (pre-baby), I have always had drawers full of makeup, nail polish and beauty ANYTHING.  I loved going to Target and looking through the beauty aisles and trying new things.  Unfortunately over the last year I haven’t had a chance to do that nor have I really had the desire too.  I’ve been very slowly cleaning out each of our cupboards/drawers/closets to make room for baby things and this was one of the last things I had left to tackle.  Mainly b/c I have a weird attachment to it and secondly…what if i need it later???  But the truth is, I only use what’s in my daily makeup bag and very very rarely look through my drawers for other things.  Back in the day when I was going to clubs, vegas, out with the girls… I experimented with colors and products.  But these days if I put makeup on, I want it to be quick and easy.  Gone are the days I experiment with eyeliner brands, colors and styles.  =T  I need products I know are good, work perfectly with my skin and are easy to apply.

SOOO alas…i cleared out half of these products.  I kept most of the lip ones and tossed everything that was over a year old and was not using.  feels REALLY REALLY good to do that.

recently also cleaned out all accessories too and found that if i do wear jewelry or sunnies, i only wear the same ones over and over again.  so that was really easy to clean out.  =)  I recommend doing a purge if you have as much crap as me!   xx

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Life Lately

so many things to update on and never enough time.  sigh.  story of my life eh?

  1. went to the most beautiful wedding in SF recently.  one of my closest college besties got married.  i’ll post more photos from the wedding latahs.IMG_5782 IMG_5824
  2. i’m going through a super crazy vermicelli phase.  anything with those noodles and i’ll down it!IMG_0021
  3. when mike leaves town, i always order out since i’ve got c and am doing it all alone.  with my new vermicelli phase this was the most delicious meal of my life.IMG_0006
  4. i got a new iphone!!!  never owned one before and this is my first.  i’ve had it for about 1 week and still have no idea how to use it.  i haven’t transferred the line over so i’m still using my droid since it’s much easier for me to use.  LOLLLL
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  5. Halloween is here!!  We took C to a pumpkin patch, dressed her up in 3 different costumes, and just really went cway for her first halloween.  I’ll post more pics later but here’s one adorrrrrable one to hold you over.  LOL IMG_6069
  6. This weekend my bestie’s getting married and i’m SOOOOOO exciiiiited.  I know it’s going to be GORGEOUS and I’ll ugly cry the entire time.  lol  (eye roll) it’s apparently my thing when i’m up there.  i ruin all wedding pics b/c of it.  AND the coolest part is that C is gonna be a flower girl!!!  sooooo exciting… =D
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Breastfeeding + Water

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gahhh this one is so hard for me.  i HATE drinking water.  HATE IT.  give me a bucketful of coffee or tea but water is my enemy.  i’ve heard so many times how much you’re supposed to drink 8 glasses of water a day~ it’s good for your body~ blah blah blah.

currently i’m nursing C and i barely make enough for one day’s worth of bottles.  i’m doing my best to eat the right things and take the right supplements to increase my supply but nothing has made a large difference.  =T

someone recently suggested that i try drinking 2 gallons of water per day to increase my supply.  sigh.  it’s like death by water.  i calculated that i either have to drink 7-8 of these camel bak bottles above OR 16 water bottles.  waaaaaahhhhhh

drinking this much water is a freaking full-time job.  i haven’t reached my goal yet but i’ve been drinking way more than normal.  that’s all i can ask for right?  i’m still waiting to see if it works and if my supply increases.  let’s hope all this work is worth it!  i seriously pee every 30-40 minutes.  >.<

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Oven Studio: 100 day pics

Earlier this month C took studio pics with Oven Studio in downtown.  I could not praise this company and couple enough.  LOVED the stduio, LOVED the people and LOVED the way they knew how to style and pose C.  Mike and I chose a few backgrounds, poses but they went another direction.  Lol. A polite way of saying they knew better and they really did!  C’s pics turned out beautifully~~~
I can’t wait to get her 1 year old pics done at this same studio!!
Oh and the best part?? They do dog pics too!!!  Heheheheheeeee

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And then the show was over…ms c had had enough…

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Urgent Care for an Urgent Mother

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last night i took c to urgent care.  she had this crazy wheezing breathing and i literally thought she was going to pass out or die.  the breathing itself was super serious sounding but the events that happened yesterday were both non-serious, funny and just pure first-time-mom-panic.  just so i don’t write a freaking novel, i’ll give quick bullet points.

-i pick c up from daycare and she is making a wheezing sound SOMETIMES.  so it doesn’t sound serious.

-i take her and lucy for a walk and she wheezes so much so frequently that she can’t stop at certain points and her body keeps stiffening.  i literally run back home with both of them and immediately turn on the shower to the hottest setting and hot box the bathroom and sit on the ground with her in my arms.

-wheezing sound stops, she’s calming down and we’re both sweating.  i take her back out into the living room, wheezing starts again.

(wheezing: when she breathes in she makes this labored breathing sound and it scares her so she breathes in faster and deeper and starts to cry)

-i call 2 drs who hear her breathing on the phone and say i should go into ER or urgent care asap.  it could be RSV or a bronchial issue.

-kaiser nurse hotline suggests i go in immediately.  at this point though, i’m back in the steamed up bathroom and her wheezing goes away completely.  still, i go to urgent care but it closes in 20 minutes.  if i rush i can get there on time.

-i pack a ridiculous bag of things for urgent care in case we’re there for hours.

-i rush c there with crazy road rage and some illegal moves, park, rush to urgent care only to find that the pediatric one is located in another building.  i must have looked CRAY b/c after the first admin person tells me that another one came out and very sweetly told me how to get there.  i’m also holding back tears b/c if you miss the 8pm deadline you have to go to the ER which is a crazy wait.  it’s 8:05pm by this point.

-i get lost in the hospital.  i’m sweating EVERYWHERE.  c is smiling and hamming it up with the people we pass.  i’m carrying her, blankets, AND my clown bag of random crap.

-finally make it to pediatric urgent care.  the admin guy asks me for all this stuff i don’t have.  i’m about to cry, so he just lets me through to the dr.  then he lets me know PUC closes at 830pm, not 8pm.  HUGE SIGH of relief.

-in the waiting room at the hospital i call mike to tell him i’m there and not to be alarmed, my intuition says she’ll be fine.  mike is in NYC on a business trip.  awesome.

-i see the dr who runs all these tests and says she is in perfect health and has a small upper respiratory virus.  babies can’t take meds so we just have to wait it out.

-my dr made everything light hearted, cracked jokes, kept telling me to chill and not worry~~ my baby is healthy, fine, blah blah blah blah BLAHHH

-i was very angry at him.  i needed someone to take this more seriously.  i told him i was freaking out and i needed tangible advise so i could do things to make her feel better if this happens again.  he showed me a few things but only b/c i was mad at him (polite mad).

-through it all, c was her happy self.  except for the wheezing earlier (which i now know is called “strider”) she had no fever and no changes in her personality.

-c fell asleep at 915ish pm and woke up at 5 to eat and then again at 730am to eat.  she was obviously fiiiiiine.  but i woke up every 2 hours to check if she was alive.  LOL  funny when i think about it now, but not when i was waking up b/c i was that stressed out.

Lessons I learned… 

-i have good intuition so far about C’s health.  she’s been sick before and i feel like i know what works for her and what is really serious/not serious.  (after the wheezing stopped i felt like she would be fine, but went to UC just in case since i’m not doc)

-when i panic i give myself a lot of pep talks.  like “you can do this, you’re an adult, you’re the mom, you are strong, you’re independent, you can do this.”

-i sweat profusely and run around trying to figure out what to do in high stress/high panic situations.

-i need a new dr who will indulge my first-time-mom panic and validate my concerns.  that joking crap does NOT work when i’m worried and freaking out that my baby might die or have some serious virus.  <–this contradicts my good intuition point above but it’s b/c even if i think she’ll be fine, i need the hospital/dr to run extra tests and give us EXTRA care so i can see that everything is ok.  dismissing me or my feelings makes me more stressed.

 

sigh.  today i’m going to drink a gallon of coffee, indulge in a donut or something bad for me, and try to freaking relax a little.  happy hump day to all~~ i hope you’re having a better day than i am!!

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Fall Shoe Wishlist

 

now that i have to buy all new shoes post-baby…here are some of my faaaves for fall right now!

Fall 2015 Must Have Shoes

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fun things…

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just a few little fun facts and happenings around the blair home…

  1. lucy has been extra naughty these past few weeks.  not really sure how to address or fix it since we just don’t have time.  we don’t have time to train her, take her out often, tire her out, or spend the hours we used to petting her and telling her how amazing she is.  LOL  #chambap (cold rice)  once we get this whole baby thing under control i’ll try to work something out for lucy.  in the meantime she looks forward to my brother visiting since he gives her his undivided attention and loves her to death.  definitely treats her to death that’s for sure.
  2. we have successfully cleaned out about 50-60% of our things.  if you ask me what i did over the weekend “cleaning” and “purging” are always in my list of things done.  are we just that awesome at cleaning?  uhh no.  because we live in a sty M-F we have no choice but to clean on the weekends.  joy.   when i got pregnant mike declared we had to get rid of 40% of our things.  waaaaaaaat.  he really meant MY things.  i love having 10 rolls of wrapping paper and tissue paper up the wazoo in my closet.  do i EVER wrap a single gift? never.  do i feel like a classy martha stewart when i see it tho?  hells YES.  sooo anyway this last weekend we got rid of some furniture in our house and our place is actually starting to feel (dare i say) minimalist!?
  3. c is majorly outgrowing her bassinet.  she looks like snow white in a dwarf bed.  i’ve mentioned a few times that we need to move her to her own crib and bed~ to which mike says “she’s not ready”.  hmmm…. she’s not ready or HE’S not ready?  in any case, i really love that.  it makes my heart happy and brings a little tear to my eye and tickle in my nose knowing he loves her so.  ~~that he wants her close to him on his side of the bed.  swooon.  so until “she” is ready, she will remain in our room. =)
  4. when you walk into our home, you will not know we have a baby.  why?  b/c everything is now in her room.  after months of discussion and planning, we turned c’s room into a nursery/play room/family room.  it’s where we now go to after work and when we’re home.  mike wanted a safe space for C to play where she could have toys everywhere and yet our home didn’t look cray.  i personally wanted as sterile of an environment for her as possible, which is hard when adults and lucy need to share the space.  SOOOoOOOo wahla!   we came up with this awesome plan and it’s been such a dream.  our living room/kitchen are pretty spotless and then when you walk into her room you see toys/books/stuffed animals strewn all over the place with C having the time of her life.  she is surrounded by fun things to play with, a soft mat to catch her fall, and just be a kid!  —mike and i were so stressed about putting the toys back into place so we didn’t live in chaos but now we both win.  Lucy also has a toy lion in there she can munch on and play with while we’re in the baby room.  otherwise all of C’s toys are fair game.  gf has never been spanked or swatted away so many times in her life.  poor little sass monster.  that’s probably why #1 is happening.  sigh.  oh and we also have a TV in there so mike and i can watch a little something too.  you can only listen to the music from her toys for so long without going cray. ^^
  5. random thought…C LOVES Lucy.  Lucy does not love C.  you know how babies with older siblings do things faster and sooner b/c they have the older ones around?  do you think ANY part of that will play out with C and L?  like C reaches out for L all the time and literally face plants trying to go from sitting to scooting so she can chase L.  L likes to lick C and then BOLT before C can grab a tuft of her fur with her death grip.  think her motor skills will develop faster b/c of L?  food for thought… i would like the answer to be “YES”.  lollll
  6. C has a death grip!  it’s alarming how strong her hands are.  she has pulled out hundreds of strands of my hair, she can grab mike’s chest hair like a champion, grab any shirt or collar you’ve got and if you have a necklace~ game over~ you ain’t getting that back.  i like to think this grip is from me.  can people even claim those things you ask?  BOOM.  i just did.  C has a rockstar grip from her mama.  =D
  7. my hair is still falling out.  not cute or fun.  and the best part of it all???  the hair that fell out is now growing back in.  my forehead looks like a tiny manicured lawn.  picture coming soon when it grows out more.  for now i’m the only one who can really see it.  thank goodness all the weddings i have are over by nov 7th.  after that and for the next 6 months my hair is gonna be FUGS.  i need to wear a sweat band a la 90s on my hairline.  >.<
  8. my posture is ridiculously bad.  i look like the hunchback of notre dame.  mike says it’s my core.  i need to work it out.  i think it’s all in my shoulders.  like i need to get more massages or something.  LOL  but no joke….my core is mush.  i try to suck it in and throw my shoulders back at work, as i’m typing right now, & in the car when i’m driving.  gahh.
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Green Bean Fail

 

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two sundays ago we started giving c purees!  i had been itching and super eager to give C actual fooooood.  i researched it for over a month and asked all my mommy friends about how and what they all prepared for their little ones.  i chose these two below to start with for a few reasons…

  1. friends told me that rice cereal was an empty carb and not something that babies had to eat first.  our doctor also said rice cereal is linked to childhood obesity soooo we skipped it and went straight to purees!
  2. some say that if you start with a fruit, like applesauce, your babe might not eat veggies or enjoy them after.  so we picked a NON-gassy veggie that would be gentle or c’s stomach.  mike and i thought a lot about whether or not we should do carrots first but those are sweeter so we went with green beans.

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c HATED green beans, as you can see.  sigh.  i’ve given it to her for about a week straight but she doesn’t love it any better.  i read that you give it to the babe at least 10 times before you see that the baby doesn’t like it.  and every 3 days you can introduce a new food.

every night is a super fun night and experience at home.  c gets the purees EVERYWHERE but it just makes the whole experience that much more fun. ^^

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Small Victories

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Last night I was finally able to get my engagement ring!!  I hadn’t been able to get this sucker on since I got pregnant.  My body seriously swelled IMMEDIATELY.  =(

Couldn’t get my actual wedding band on, but it’s the little victories right?!  I may or may not have had to use a bunch of oil to get this on… meybe. =T

I’m taking this as a wonderful sign that my body is going back to normal and its pre-baby shape/weight. ^^

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Garden of Life Raw Priorities Kids

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C started daycare a few weeks ago and we began adding this probiotic to her milk once a day. it’s a tiny scoop of this powder to help her immune system, help her fight off any germs and just stay super healthy.  so far i think it’s worked?  C seems happy as a clam and healthy as can be.  i do think it’s mainly b/c the daycare she goes to is SO FREAKING CLEAN but it could also be this?  the only 2 noticeable changes have been that it gives her energy (so don’t give it to your babe at night) and her poops are crazy big and strong.  LOL  so that means it’s totally working right?

we bought it at whole foods and had a few different people recommend it~~ soooo i’m recommending to you all too!  c has not had any tummy troubles or any allergic reactions to it.  sometimes i sprinkle it on her purees if i haven’t been able to put it in her bottle.

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Nail Party

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I used to be one of those ladies who painted her nails ALL THE TIME.  I didn’t even know what it felt like to have short short nails or bare ones!  But pregnancy + newborn = no time, no nail color.  =(  major sad face.  I’ve tried getting them done professionally but my problem is… I HAVE NO TIME!  EVERRRR.  so my new solution??? do them at work. =D  puhaha  So I realize this is not ideal or professional but I saw some of my coworkers on campus doing it and a freaking LIGHT BULB went off!!  doiiii i can do this during lunch while i eat and watch kdramas!!  triple-tasking at its best!  *woooot *

this is my first time trying it out above. =D  not the best or cleanest…but this nail polish is insanely small with a tiiiiny brush.  next time i’ll bring a normal size bottle.

now…if i could only do facials doing lunch that would be CLUTCH.  ^^

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