Lemon Tree Kids Cafe in Koreatown

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went to lemon tree kids cafe a few weeks ago with my coworkers and their families~~ SO MUCH FUN.  C was too small to do 99% of the things there but i’m excited to come back her in a few months when C can run around and play! here are some awesome pics my coworker’s husb caught and some of my slr pics. <3

I’ve known these guys for about 3-4 years now and it’s been such a blessing!  Not only did we work together on campus but we’ve been through so many life stages together.  I’ve learned SO MUCH from these ladies as a new mama and they’ve mainly taught be to RELAX, it’s ok to make mistakes, no mama is perfect, and they encourage me often that we’re doing a fab job with C.  love the support and mommy network!  Now that we have three little girls, I can’t wait for all the future play dates and fun memories! xoxo

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Life Lately

(this literally took me 2 weeks to write and it’s all choppy and incoherent.  sorry in advance.  best life update i could do)

So many things going on these days and SO VERY LITTLE TIME to write about it.  sigh.  this is my new normal now.

anyway, super short recaps of a few things going on…

mike and i went out on our first date since the baby!  we saw mission impossible three, looked like shit and had no time to do anything but watch the movie.  it started at 955pm and i almost feel asleep 8 different times.  sigh.

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pumpkin spice latte’s are here!  during our “date” LA was going through a crazy heat wave so i ordered a frozen version of PSL and was hoping it would help me stay up.  it didn’t.

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one small food victory~ i have wanted to try el cholo in ktown for about 6 years.  i finally got to try it!!  even had a margarita and felt GOOOOOD.  hehe

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my little babe is getting SO BIG.  i want to freeze this time in our lives right now.  C is SO FUN and really discovering and examining the world around her.  she’s so alert and observant.  i want to bottle up her deliciousness and squeeze her forever.

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LOVE LOVE LOVE this champs!!  My friend brought it over and polished off this bottle and a bottle of delicious cab over indian food.  YUMMM.

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Charlotte’s 4 month visit.  gahh i love her.  she’s growing into such a happy baby.  LOVE hearing her laugh and seeing her smile.  xoxo

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soooo i’m guessing every mom says this… but i’m really impressed with C’s motor skills!  i feel like she’s developing quickly and recently we put her in a high chair and she loved it.  she likes to watch us do new things, she loves reaching out to touch new textures/objects.  gahh such a fun stage!

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C got her 4 month shots last friday.  She does not do well after shots. 🙁  she is super fussy, runs a mild fever and needs to be cuddled all day.  It can get kinda tiring and then c looks like that above with a onesie unbuttoned…sigh.  last friday was so hard mike came home early to help me ( thank God for that man).   As soon as C saw him she smiled and fell asleep on his lap.  How adorable is this sleeping position??

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C is so smiley and giggly now.  LOVE making her laugh.  Melts my heart and makes me want to freeze time so baaad.

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I die over these two.  Lucy brings her toys over to C and doesn’t quite share…but at least doesn’t chew on the baby toys.  C LOVES lucy.  She lights up and tries to reach out to pet L all the time.  L is smart tho…she avoids C since she only pulls on her fur.  Lol

Ice cream below… *droool *  there’s a new dessert place near us called Atticus and I’m “meh” about it.  They had earl grey pie that I was excited to try but it was not tastey. =T

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went out to dinnah with mike’s mom to say thank you for taking care of c for the past two months while i transitioned back to work.  so kind of her to come out from palm springs each week AND so nice that C got to spend 2 months with gwandma. <3

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#BossBitch

For the past 10 years I have wanted to own my own business.  I’ve brainstormed, researched, talked in length with Markel… and just sort of tried out a few different things (event planning, etsy, etc).  And after all this time…I’ve come up with 3 reasons of why I haven’t made the leap…

  1. I need financial backing.  But where do I even start?  Who is going to invest $100,000+ into helping make my dream possible?
  2. Fear.  What if I fail?  What if people don’t like what I’m selling?  Who would be interested??
  3. Obsession or Love of the Business.  This pretty much ties into #2 but I’m worried that one day I’ll wake up and not feel passionate about my business anymore.  That I’ll want to move on to something else.  But… then again I guess I could sell it or even own multiple businesses that are different?

I have about 5 different business ideas that I go back and forth about.  Sigh.  The only conclusion I’ve come up with is that if I win the lottery, I wouldn’t be afraid to fail.  I would use the winnings as an investment to try it out and be ok with failing.  LOL  easy right?

Now…if only I wasn’t so cheap and would purchase a $1 lottery ticket… >.<

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Zara Loafers

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Not sure how I feel about these loafers…they are super comfy and easy to match with my new work wardrobe…but I think all shoes this big are just fugs. :T
I dunno…what do you think?

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The New Me

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Ironically this “me” is from March 2014.  Before baby, before cellulite, before stretch marks… before nasty belly… sigh.

I’m still transitioning from my pregnancy body and after nearly 5 months…I’m not loving what I’m left with.  I might be near my old pre-baby weight but my proportions are different and my belly has never been so nasty.  Ironically my arms are also SUPER fat still (are those every gonna go down??) and my nose has permanently stretched out to a new shape.  WEIRD right?  My fingers are also much fatter and my engagement ring or wedding ring won’t fit.  sigh.  So basically…nothing is the same.  LOLLLL

In early July I bought a bunch of things from H&M for work.  About 5 pairs of black pants, 5 blouses (mainly white) and a few Dresses from Forever21 to work with me while I was losing weight.  I’m still not at my ideal weight but I’m also itching to buy a few new things that aren’t so “frumpy”.  I dunno…hahaha just a small personal dilemma…if you’re tired of hearing me complain about my body and want me to work out…uh you don’t know me at all.

ANYWAYY if you see me in my ugly “work” clothes don’t judge me!  lol

Shoe Update: I’m still lost on this one too.  sigh.  I bought 1 pair of heels for my upcoming weddings but they’re for old people with extra foot padding and a wide width.  =(  wahhh

I now stare at people’s feet.  weird i know.  but i’m having major “foot envy” when i see people with thin, narrow, small feet.  FYI if you are one of these b’s…ihatechu.  >.<

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Commuting

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For the first time since January 2008, I am now an LA commuter.  The irony is…I live 20 minutes away from work.  Now that C is in daycare, I drive from Palms to Ktown to UCLA and then back to Ktown and then back to Palms.  My Commute went from 20 minutes each way to 2 hours each way.  WOW right?  I’m sure this sounds crazy and YES I could have sent C to a daycare down the street~~ but after lots and lots and LOTS of stressing/weighing our options/etc, this is what is best.  Examples: I want C to learn Korean, I want C to eat Korean food, I want C to grow up in a Christian daycare/preschool, this daycare is SUPER DUPER clean, the ladies are incredibly warm and bubbly, etc.

So now that I’m commuting to work, Ryan’s Roses and music during my drive just isn’t working.  I need to make better use of my time.  Right now we have a free trial of Sirius XM Radio and I LOVE IT.  I listen to news channels the entire drive.  If you know me, you know that I have very little to no interest in news, politics, anything serious.  LOL  But listening to people chat about the elections, the Pope coming to LA, etc it’s kind of like listening in on friends talking or neighbors on the bus talking to each other.  I really love it.

That opens me up to some more options during the drive…

  1. Do I pay for Sirius Radio once my free trail is up?  It’s $100 a year… worth it if i’m using it 3-4 hours everyday?
  2. Do I scrap Sirius and just listen to pre-downloaded podcasts? (Free)
  3. Do I stream things online?  (Free but uses hella data)
  4. Do I listen to NPR and the Radio? (Free)
  5. Do I buy an audibles subscription?  ($9.99 per month and up)
  6. Should I check out books on tape from the library? (Free)

Any suggestions?  If I’m going to be commuting, it would be cool to accomplish something.  Like a) go through 3-5 books a month or b) learn about politics/history/current events.  Is it wrong that I’m not putting “listen to sermons” in this list?  o.O

BTW—in a perfect world I would have a driver so that I could chill in the back and work, read, go through social media apps and blog!  Anyone wanna volunteer? ;P

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C ‘ s First Day of Daycare

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dropped C off at daycare Monday and i had so many mixed emotions about it!  for WEEKS i’ve been stressed about C crying, missing me all day, hating the daycare, getting sick, kids being mean to her, the care taker not liking her, the list goes on…

but i think God knew how to perfectly schedule the day so that i wouldn’t be sobbing.  LOL

mike and i woke up really early but of course it wasn’t early enough.  we scrambled all morning and forgot her BOTTLES at home.  DOH.

(LUCKILY I had one bottle in my purse!!  So when I realized that I had forgotten ALL the bottles of the kitchen table full of breastmilk (whhyyyyyy), I reached in and grabbed my one bottle from my purse.  C’s breakfast that she hadn’t finished.  THANK GOD.)

i was sweating in my work clothes as we ran out of the house and drove C to her first day.  on the way there OF COURSE there was an accident on the 10, which delayed me about 20 minutes.  (i wanted to get there early so that i could be with C for 40+ minutes to “transition” her in the morning).  nope…I got there and only had about 20-25 minutes to spend with her.  most of which i was setting up her bed, her things and telling the caretaker all about C’s schedule.

i kinda wanted to hold C the whole time i was there “transitioning” her…but Hannah (the caretaker), grabbed her and started dancing and singing with her.  I felt SO WEIRD watching it happen.  Like…wait…that’s MY baby.  but no…hannah should hold her so C can get used to it here…but wait that’s MY baby…why is C laughing so much? doesn’t she know i’m gonna be leaving soon?  doesn’t she know i’m not the one holding her?

hannah held her, played with her, sang to her,  and just made sure C was happy while I was putting sheets on C’s crib and organizing her stuff into her little dresser.  i seriously wanted to stay SOOO BAD, cuddle C, soothe her, and just make sure she didn’t feel abandoned.  =T

after about ten awkward pauses where i’m sure i was supposed to say “bye C” and leave…mike finally pulled me out of there.  i kept looking back at the house from the driveway and street kiiiinda hoping C would cry so i would have to rush in and soothe her and let her know i wasn’t leaving.  HAHAHAHA  but of course she didn’t… sigh.

C hasn’t been a perfect angel this week.  she is totally mesmerized by the kids and all the commotion when i drop her off, but i guess throughout the day her “stranger danger” switch turns on and she realizes we’re not around.  day one she was fussy, day 2 she cried a lot.  let’s hope day 3 goes better. =(

a few random things…

  1. hannah called me at lunch during day 1 to update me about C.  tell me how she was doing. how sweet right?? I wanted to call but felt that was super needy and cray of me so it felt awesome to get an update.2. C has started to fuss/cry when strangers come around, so i’m telling and convincing myself this is great timing and she will be well socialized by the end of this. (Fingers crossed)

    3. Working mom life…it took me almost 4 days to put this post together. Sigh.

 

 

 

 

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Stalk Me

if you’re interested in more than just the blog…

snapchat: @estchang

instagram: @estchang

Baby C’s insta: @littlelottieblair

twitter: @fattiedelights

my food blog: fattiedelights.com

 

^^

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Regrets, Lessons, and Future To-Dos

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The past few months have been incredibly confusing, hard, exhausting, exhilarating, beautiful and just plan RAD.  I feel like in just the last few months alone I’ve learned so many things and had so many regrets.  In an attempt to remember this for next time I’m writing it down in the good old blog so I can come back and revisit this for Baby #2 (and hopefully #3 and #4 =P).

Things I know now, that I didn’t know when C was born….(that may help you too)

  1. No visitors at the hospital.  You look CRAY, you’re healing, you JUST birthed a bowling ball… You don’t need visitors coming to the hospital to see that side of you.  Take a week to heal, regroup as a family, enjoy this special time, and THEN invite people to your home.  But even then, only for 20 minute visits.  Anything more is just plain hard.  (see reason 2 and 3)  Round 2, I’m gonna ask for no visitors/family the first week (maybe 2).
  2. Korean Postpartum Care.  Koreans believe that a woman should take 21 days to rest, heal, bond with the baby, and be pampered.  You aren’t able to touch cold things, eat cold things, shower, go outside, see people from the outside, NOTHING.  For 21 days you rest, let your body heal, eat seaweed soup and bond with your baby.  Giving birth is such a HUGE trauma for your body that you take 21 days (out of the rest of your life) to make sure you rest.  I thought it was insane and didn’t listen.  I ate the seaweed soup and didn’t shower for 4 days (out of the recommended 21 days).  But I didn’t follow the other requirements.  I felt FINE and wasn’t in too much pain or discomfort so I went back to my normal life and entertained visitors 2x a day.  BUT…I should have listened to the old wives tales and rest.
  3. Stitches, Tears, and Burns.  My healing journey down below took about 3x longer than it should have for other women and I had to go back to the OBGYN 2 times to get it “burned” to help it all heal faster.  GROSS.  I’ll spare you the details but apparently the nurse that stitched me up didn’t do the best job.  As much as that whole thing was medical, I still believe that I should have rested and just soaked in 2 weeks with my delicious newborn before going back to normal life.  In hindsight you have a LIFETIME to be normal, do chores, see friends, etc.  You only have this tiiiiiiiny period of time where your body needs to rest and your family needs alone time to bond.
  4. Have a strong voice.  I was so new to motherhood and having this little one to take care of, I wasn’t strong enough in letting my voice and opinions be heard.  My mama bear/tiger mom feelings were being cultivated and I was struggling between being rude and protecting my baby.  (I still struggle with that)  But now that I’m 4 months in…Mama Bear/Tiger Mom wins out.  Next time around I will be fierce about asking everyone to wash their hands, not hold my baby a certain way, not wake her up, not touch her face, not touch her baby things, be clear about sterile/dirty, etc etc etc.  Newborns are SO tiny, fragile and just plain delicate.  I need to be his/her advocate and make sure that everything is sterile, safe and gentle.  RAWR.  Next time around, I’ll be sure to be that cray mom.  If I’m not going to fight for my little babe who will?  (side note: I think this is only necessary for the first 2-3 months.  after that YES babies should be exposed to more things and don’t need to be SO insulated in a sterile bubble.  but that beginning stage they don’t have an immune system, they’re delicate and they just need to be protected.  my personal opinion.)
  5. TAKE A LONG MATERNITY LEAVE!!!  Long story short, I messed up and only took a 2.5 month maternity leave.  If possible and if you can, I would recommend 5-6 months.  2.5 months was just WAY too early to go back.  Your little one is fragile and just not ready to be put into daycare.  If you can’t take 5-6 months off then I would recommend at least 3.5-months (after the 100-day mark).  Charlotte got sick around 4 months and I wasn’t as freaked out as I thought I would be.  She was older, she was better able to handle it and I was actually happy I got to be home with her (before she went into daycare) to cuddle her.  It was a nice way to segway or foreshadow all the colds and flus she’ll be getting when she goes into DC.  Mike and I have one cold under our belts, we know how to handle it and I was still in my transition/maternity leave/work phase where I could stay home for it.
  6. READ READ READ.  I thought it would be better not to stress out too much and read about things along the way.  But I felt and still feel way under prepared.  So I would recommend reading up even if you don’t think you need it or you don’t really know what to look for.  Just…be prepared.
  7. TALK ABOUT IT.  I know that it’s super annoying to be the mom that can ONLY talk about baby things or think about baby things or obsess over those things.  BUT it’s the only way to learn, to research and to get your new mama anxiety out.  It’s weird or explain or describe, but the new “mama network” or “mama group” is incredible.  There’s an instant bond when you talk to other women with children and go over stages, behaviors, etc together.  Not only does it bring you closer together but it really helps normalize your feelings, your hormones, your anxieties…just EVERYTHING.  There are so many details and tips that your friends will know that blogs won’t tell you about.  So as annoying as you may be to friends without kids~~ be proud and talk about motherhood, raising a newborn, future stages, your hormones, your baby blues, and insecurities!
  8. Sweat a Little.  Before I got pregnant and during my pregnancy I didn’t work out.  I walked everyday (because i have a dog) but I didn’t sweat or take the time to do prenatal yoga.  I wish I had.  My stomach looks CRAZY and I now how cellulite that makes me wonder if I can wear shorts again… sigh.  My biggest regret is not walking or pushing through some workouts to make sure I was healthy.  Baby of course was always healthy, but I needed to make my body a priority too.  I was SO SICK during the first 5 months and just so nasty the last half of pregnancy that being outside and sweating was the last thing I wanted to do.  BIG MISTAKE.  I should have looked at the bigger picture.  My post baby body is not sexy, my rolls are like jelly and stomach has no muscle definition.  Getting back into shape is going to be rough… =(

I’m still new to motherhood and all that it implies.  But I hope that this little list helps you out and it’s something I can follow for baby #2!

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4 Months

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my teeny tiny baby is now four months old!  where did the time go??  i mean YES it seems like ages ago since i had her, but i just want to freeze time and really soak up every second of deliciousness.  C is changing so much.  i feel like she’ll be walking and talking any second!  (not really… but still)
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Some new things she is doing…

-reaching out!  she loves to touch your face and grab your mouth.  at first it was just her right hand but as of yesterday she can use both!  so coool.

-she still stares are her hands constantly and loves to turn them around.  she’s mesmerized by her fingers.

-she sucks on just her right index finger.  i love it.  sometimes her thumb is a casualty and makes it in there too but mainly just the index.  i melt when i see her doing it.
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-she discovered her tongue!  she’s sticking it out all the time and it’s adorable.

-she smiles and laughs constantly.  i prayed so hard for a happy baby and she really is.  she’s all smiles until her witching hour… eep.

-she is starting to get a little suspicious of some people/strangers.  she used to smile at everyone but now there are some people she will start crying with when they hold her or she’ll get a serious look on her face when they come near her.  kiiinda cute but also a little worrisome since she’s going to daycare soon.  I’m hoping that she won’t do that to her caretakers there. =(
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-C can sit in her bumbo!  she has a longer attention span and back/neck strength to sit there while mike and i shovel food down our throats.  (we literally scarf things down now.  no talking to each other either.  lol)
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-C loves her rainforest jumperoo, walker and play mat.  she can stare at the little figures and lights for 10-15 minutes.  the perfect amount of time for me to do some dishes or get something small done.
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-she is OBSESSED with lucy.  LOVES to watch her, laughs are her, reaches out and grabs her, when lucy licks her hand she laughs.  it’s REALLY touching to see them together.  and lucy is really really sweet to her!  i’m sure if i wasn’t supervising lucy would lick the crap out of charlotte’s hands/feet/face/body.  when c grabs tightly to lucy’s snout or fur lucy let’s it happen.  she isn’t THRILLED but she isn’t aggressive.  (don’t worry ya’ll, mama bear here is watching it all happen closely with a baby wipe in hand for any sneaky licks lucy might get in.)

-charlotte HATES the car seat for more than a few hours.  she will scream and let it be known that she’s not cool with it.  she boxes her elbows out so it’s hard to put her in there.  LOL

-C is squirmy and LOVES to stand, sit up and grab onto things while standing.  i love her curious mind and how she stares around at everything.  she has a bit of sassiness to her that I adore.  if she’s unhappy or wants to look around, gf will let you know!

this is such a FUN age and i can’t wait for what next month will bring us!

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Heat Wave

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Our apartment has no AC and I wanna die.  I’m literally melting.  To help cope?  I open the front door to get a breeze in, turn on our ceiling fan, keep all the lights off and put our best fan tower on C at all times.  Lucy is no fool…she follows the fan and C all day too.  Lol

The pic above, the fan is on C ‘ s bassinet so Lucy is sleeping as close to it as possible to get a few waves of cool air.

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In the morning lucy slept by the door where the cool breeze was coming in.  What a funny doggie.
I’m drinking ice water, iced coffee, and iced diet cokes to help me through this.  But the best part about this is that we only have 2 ice trays.  That’s like 2.5 to 3 drinks.  So…i have to wait a few hours in between some of my drinks. Wahhhhhh.  When is this heat wave coming to an end??? And why doesn’t our apartment have a pool??
The last heat wave I went to restaurants for loonnng lunches alone (so C could sleep in peace), walked aimlessly around the mall and frequented target.  I’m so sure people thought I was so weird…
It is so hot my glasses are sticking to my face and my legs are slick with sweat.  Barf.

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In 1.5 weeks I have to go back to the office full-time and C is going to daycare. 🙁  I wish I could freeze time!!  :((((

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Life Lately

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c above in the bath. =)  isn’t she just the CUTEST???  she LOVES bath time and would stay in there all night if she could.  i’m hoping that means she’ll love swimming too?

anyway, i have done SO MANY fun things with friends these past few weeks but of course i have no pictures to show for that.  sigh.  i used to be really good about taking pictures with friends but i’m a little preoccupied these  days… lol

some updates:

  1. i found c a daycare!!!   3 actually…ironic huh?  the one i love in ktown can’t take her until november 30th so she’ll be going to a temporary one for 2 months until then.  the temporary one is also AMAZING so there’s a small option to keep her there if we want.  something ironic that happened is my number 1 choice daycare in west LA/westwood area called me and told me there was a spot.  !@#*!)@(#*!@  AFTER i paid the temporary one $1200 upfront to hold my place.  sigh.  i have about 2 months to decide if we want to send her to the west LA location or keep her in ktown to go to my #1 choice in ktown.  what is SO frustrating is that i was beyond stressed about finding a daycare and everyone kept turning me down.  now that i found one (two) they’re ALL calling me telling me there’s space!  rawr.  mike and i are happy we have 3 great options for C and we’ll just take it as it comes.  all that stress and it all comes to a weird ending… =T
  2. work is slowing down and with my daycare stress out of the way i’m finally feeling more normal.  i still have the worst memory and i look/feel crazy~ but i’m not as tense as i used to be.  now i just need to incorporate one glass of wine a night and i think i’ll start to feel more like myself! =D
  3. BREASTFEEDING.  such a beast of a topic and i’m so lost.  no one i know seems to have the same issues as me so i’m considering making an appointment with a lactation consultant at kaiser (or just phone appt).  lame.
  4. i’m balding in the front b/c my hair is still falling out in alarming chunks.  i’m considering chopping it off but…i look REALLY bad with short hair.  we’ll see how this all goes down.  for now i just look super nasty all the time.  (see family photo below…)
  5. my body is finally returning back to normal (or as much as it can).  it’s been almost 4 months and i’m back to my pre-baby weight.  my body SHAPE and proportions are different but i don’t feel as oompa loompa-y as i did before.  clothes are slowly fitting again.  i’m a bridesmaid for 2 weddings in October so i have to start doing some light cardio and skipping the ice cream at night.  let’s hope i’m not the fattest bridesmaid in each wedding. =(
  6. i go back to work full-time sept 20th and i’m so sad.  i’m incredibly grateful for this transition time i had between maternity leave and being back in the office full-time but it’ll be hard.  i wish i could have the best of both worlds… like working everyday 8-12pm and then coming home to play with c while still making the same each month (and possibly getting raises in the future).  puhahaha    oh well… i’m just so glad i got to be here during c’s first few months and soak it all up.
  7. C is doing SO MANY cool things.  she’s so engaging, can play on her own for 10-15 minutes now, LOVES trying to sit up/stand, looks like she wants to try solids soon, is sticking out her tongue, watching her hands more than ever, can touch her feet, and just smile/laugh whenever she sees us.  the raddest feeling in the world is being able to make her smile.  gives me SO MUCH satisfaction and pleasure.  haha weird right?  i love knowing what makes her laugh, what makes her smile and how to soothe her when she’s fussy.  the second best feeling in the world is getting a fussy c to fall asleep on me before bedtime.  i love feeling her body get heavier and heavier as she falls asleep.  i KNOW that many people say this is a bad habit and you shouldn’t rock a baby to sleep blah blah blah.  BUT… c is only going to be this little for so long.  i love holding her and getting those extra snuggles in before she gets too big.  my favorite is when it’s just us at night or in the middle of the night and i get to soothe her.  (more on that in my next post about c’s first cold).

anyway… obviously the only cool thing happening in my life these days is baby c.  sorry for all the baby talk all the freaking time.  i’m sure soon enough i’ll have new hobbies and more fun things to talk about!  LOL  hope ya’ll are having a great week.

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tried taking pics of 3 babies together and well…it was a disaster.  hehehe  but isn’t this adorable??  i can’t wait for these girls to grow up together!  mike’s HS besties had baby girls and these little ones will be fwends as the years go on. <3

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sorry my ugly feet are in the pic too.  i was playing with C in the jumper and lucy of course had to press herself up against me so i could pet her.  lol  that little spoiled b.  BUT, she’s my spoiled b. =D

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